Monday 20 September 2010

Here I am, This is Me

You know those moments when you actually feel just how much you love someone?

I mean, you can know you love someone, but I mean actually feeling the love.

A lot of the time you take the people you know for granted, because you see them all the time or are so comfortable with them sometimes you forget why they are there.

But then there are certain suddenly something happens and you just feel so strongly about them and the warmth floods your body and you smile like an idiot because you are just so happy that that person is there and that you love them.

Yeah...that just happened to me...and I'm smiling like an idiot and feeling HIGH (dghsagdajhsgdhasdnsbdawgdjahsgdkas) :)

Just thought I would write that down before I go into detail about the boring and mundane parts of my life haha.

I'm DYING to watch more episodes of Mischievous/Playful Kiss. Its like, once you get into it...you are instantly swallowed by the cuteness of it all. (and its not like we don't appreciate the eye candy that comes in the form of Kim Hyun Joong - dang that kid is complete and utter lushness in human form).

I was looking at my blog stats today and I checked to see which was my most viewed post of all time.

It didn't surprise me when I discovered it was the post entitled - G-Dragon.

I posted that nearly two years ago and I still get about 4 views a day on it!

Well actually I lie - today I had three views on it ROFL

Which goes to show, some of my readers are just not interested in me hahah.

I'm so sad about this T__T

*falls onto the bed and weeps*

----

So, I started watching episode 4 of Playful Kiss with Sarah...ok, wait, before I explain what happened I need to get this out of my system.....

OMG KIM HYUN JOONG IS SO FREAKING HOT!!!!!!! SAFOLDSJFANSDFHIA SLDFJKASDFASDILkfASDF ISADLFKMASDF PIASHDLKFNASD GOSH THAT SMILE AND THOSE PERFECT TEETH!!!

I JUST WANT TO FREAKING EAT HIM OHHH HE IS LIKE FLIPPING ICE CREAM WITH A GORGEOUS TOPPING....

*breathes*

but I know he belongs inside my YJ eonnie's head so I won't spazz about him like I did about Lee Min Ho when I was watching Personal Taste.

Min Ho has that adorable goofiness factor that just charms my socks off.

but yes anyway, with a few annoying distractions Sarah and I managed to watch episode 4 and 5 and they were completely lush.

We would watch epi 6 only Sarah has a piano lesson tomorrow and she has to learn two pages of music tonight...something she probably should have learned over the week...but I'm being understanding.

When I learned the saxaphone I didn;t practice until like an hour before lessons.

Maybe that's why I had no command over my instrument LOL.

----

My friend told me earlier that there is a conservation trip to Greece for a month next June and suggested I should go too.

She said its a good experience and I think its a good idea...it only costs 100 euros plus air fare.

I wish my parents would be more excited about the things I'm interested in though.

I told mum and she was like,

'You can't go, you haven't got a job.'


Not in like she herself was saying I couldn't go, but like she was saying I wouldn't be able to go because I can't do anything right and that I'm a failure in life.

It's quite a downer when your own parent thinks like that.

But I don't live to please my parents, at the end of the day. It is my life. And as much as I respect them...only I can make it better for myself.

Sometimes I feel like everything I want is wrong because they aren't interested in it...

Its funny...the more people treat you like you are stupid the more you begin to feel like you are.

Ack, I don't know...Its like the more people started treating me like a failure, I guess I just lived up to their expectations.

I should change that now though, what I want isn't wrong and it's not too much for me to handle and I'm just sick of all the discouraging.

Yes, I know its my fault that I am a jobless degreeless sad individual. I don;t need anyone else to tell me that.

It takes me long enough to boost myself with positive energies every day, Its irritating and annoying when those days when you know you have been trying your best and yet people still act like you are useless.

Its disheartening and discouraging.

Ah, I'm getting emo...but this is really something that has been bothering me.

Mianhe, I didn't want this post to be too serious...sigh.

I was on such a high earlier too.

Ugh I wish someone would come and sweep me out of this unsatisfying trench of a life I'm stuck in.

It would be nice if someone had a bit of confidence in me again.

I feel like crying now...Sarah was just reading the Bible out before she slept and it was from Ecclesiastes 11: 7 - 10

Its saying make the most of your youth because it goes by fast and do what your heart desires while you are young and that its ok to feel like that as long as what you want isn't wrong. Always remember God will judge what you have done.

Most people think being judged is a negative thing but actually you can be judged and rewarded for the good things you do too...

(I'm such a glass half full kind of girl haha)

It was just something I needed to hear.

I feel better now.

I'm happy because I know in my heart I can do whatever I want because I have the ability and the desire to do so...

All I need now is for some people to have faith in me so that I can be encouraged to have more faith in myself.

I really don't want to waste my youth.

And besides, I felt the love today...what the hell am I complaining for???

Its late and my tummy is starting to be all bumfaced donkey-ish.

Good Night Lovelies,

From Minnie (who apologises for spilling out her emotional vomit all over this blog)

P.S. Ok you were right, I did mean you previously and just to put things straight, I always mean you when I write stuff like that. If its NOT you I usually say who it is.

HAPPY NOW?

I feel so defeated...can I have a losers prize??? :D

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