Monday 30 August 2010

So far Above me Yet I, Know Your Heart Belongs to Only Me ~

This weekend was pretty busy, but the great thing was I got to see all my grandparents in the space of two days...something that doesn't happen a lot.

Yesterday we went to Hull to grandpas house because we wanted to see my cousin and aunt again before they went back to Holland.

Its been a while since we've all been together, so dad took me and Sarah to go visit grandma at the old people's home.

Its the first time I've seen her in ages and its also the first time she didn't recognize me.

It was pretty heartbreaking actually. She kept asking,

'Why are you here?'

And kept standing up as if she thought she wasn't supposed to be with us.

Thankfully she got more comfortable with us and asked dad,

'Are these your girls?'

And when we left we told her we loved her and she said,

'I love you too.'
It's a sad experience though.

I hate Alzheimers disease...

And its worse that grandma and grandpa have to be separated even though they are both still alive.

but, I guess that's life and we have to make the best of it.

So anyway, as the weekend was busy I decided to chill the day away drawing my own face...which I know, is a weird thing to do, but actually its the best drawing I've done in a while...as far as likeness is concerned.

It looks very much like the picture I copied it off, so I think that's why I'm pleased with it.

It doesn't feel like I'm drawing myself either. Its like some random person.

But anyway, I'm going to try and finish it tomorrow and then start on something else.

Maybe a scene...or a picture of two people...not sure.

----

Sam was sick today...he vomited shoelaces.

Weird huh?

Its funny, but recently he's taken a fancy to shoelaces.

You'd think it would be something that a puppy does, not an 8 year old dog, but Samuel is ALWAYS contrary to the rules.

He has proven all by himself that an old dog can learn new tricks...

Though technically he isn't really 'old' he is a healthy adult...other than the shoelace vomiting.

----

I feel like I'm slowing down again. I find it hard to motivate myself for long periods of time.

It's so frustrating when you have to wait for things to happen. I thought I was a patient person, but obviously I wasn't as long suffering as I had imagined.

With other people, I can manage, but myself? Its a different matter all together.

Its annoying when you know you are trying hard and there seems to be no movement in life at all.

Its like going up a steep hill in 5th gear WITH ICE ON THE ROAD.

Maybe I should take advantage of this slowing down and take a look at my other options.

I don't know...it just seems recently my path in the journey of life is experiencing foggy weather and I'm just waiting for the mist to lift and the bright sunshine to wash over everything...

WTFUDGE is up with all these metaphors??? hahaha

I just want to have beautiful moments that's all...and I'm just waiting for them to arrive.

I feel like nothing memorable has happened recently.

Just living day to day to day...it gets so stale.

A 22 year old should not feel this way...but maybe I'm just getting depressed because, it's late, and its dark, and for the past few days the weather is getting noticeably colder.

I need happy and exciting times to help me forget the depression of winter...

At least I will be able to wear hats and scarves again, I love that...and I can buy a nice new coat.

So I guess not everything about winter is bad...and there is always the hope of snow.

---

Just finished watching episode 7 of Hotaru no Hikari season 2.

It was SOOOO lush asdkjasdhjkasd

I want a buchou so bad...he is so cute!!!

And even though the cute extremely attractive and gorgeous younger guy understands Hotaru more, he doesn't have the special connection she has with Buchou.

Which just tells you that two people who are extremely different from each other can still be completely gorgeous together.

Ideal types can sometimes blind you from what is perfect for you...I bet lots of people have missed out that way.

Since when do you choose a best friend by how they look anyway?

It's not something you care about...there is more magic to it than that.

Anyway, it's almost half past twelve o' clock in the morning and I should sleep...I just, wish I had something to look forward to.

Good Night Lovely People

Love Min

P.S. Happy Independence Day to my Malaysia family I hope you all have fun and look beautiful and handsome...wejhkjwerhvwfhhwyiurlhwkefq;ewiugqwker,h;qwlehfqwlkf,wnfkwe

:D

...my country doesn't have an Independence Day

but our national holiday was yesterday,

Its the last one before school term starts again...but I have no school to go too *sigh*

I feel like a loser right now...

NEED HUG!

-----

Pining ~


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