I'm Trying

I don't know what is wrong with my body this week. It's completely shattered all the time. I'm so tempted to have a nap right now, but I never do that and I feel like I'm letting down my usual self who never sleeps during the day like a bad ass.

It must be because I'm becoming ANCIENT can't believe Im 23 in just a few months. I will soon be losing my youthful bloom and excitement for life. Hahah all the people who are older than me will read this and be annoyed because I'm calling myself ancient...sowwy.

You wouldn't believe how tired I am..I wonder if this is what jet lag feels like?

I can't say that I've done a lot today. I've not got any dates booked on my calender, so there isn't anything to work towards much. I'm feeling so lethargic. I keep wondering if my iron intake is low or something.

All I've done is basically catch up with BIGBANG news and all that shizzle. It's been quite relaxing actually. ITS SOOOO GOOD to see them all together. I can't describe it. They rock!

I've done a bit of a job search too. When my cousin was a student she had the coolest job ever. She worked as a waitress at the restaurant in Old Trafford and she saw the team and got photos and autographs like on a weekly basis.

I can only dream of a job like that LMAO

Well it's taken me like a full day to write just this tiny bit. I'm just not rolling right today/yesterday. Everything is irritating me at the moment too, like this person spamming just one word on twitter and people who are negative and people who say 'no' to everything and people who are selfish and want everyone to understand them when they can't even be bothered to understand other people. Well my patience is wearing thin tonight. I just get annoyed thinking about these things.

And if I hear the phrase 'don't bother me' again I will punch someone. I never go out of my way to bother anyone so the only reason I could possibly bother someone is because they feel bad for being horrible when all I did was care. IDIOT!

*sigh*

Yeah, that rant has been inside of me for like a week and I was trying to forget it and be generous with forgiveness and the strength of friendship, but I'm flipping human too and it's hard for me to forget.

And I'm only irritated because I care, I just hope there aren't tons more sabotaged friendships scattered around.

It's a fail being mean to me anyway, someone would have to murder someone or something along those lines for me to hate them. Bad feelings are so tedious and a friggen waste of time.

So I'm going to put that awful shizz behind me now and forget it and won't speak of it again and hope that some people will see sense and stop making things worse for themselves...and I may be annoying, but I will always be there being a friend for people I will always care about, even if they IRRITATE me!

In nicer news, G Dragon plays guitar and then smashes it.

and I spent half of the day watching the Kurosagi J drama, which is one of my favourites, because I can empathise with the lead female character and the lead male character is played by Yamashita Tomohisa, who I love...yes, he is hot, but he also does weird random things in his acting that amuse me greatly. Such a great drama, and the storyline isn't based on romance which is nice. I mean it has very classy moments of romantic tingling between the two leads, but it isn't sickly and fake.

I made an observation today. TOP always puts his hand on Daesungs knee when they have Bigbang interviews. It's adorable!

I was thinking of reading Pilgrims Progress again. I love that book, it's such an adventure! I had trouble reading it the first time because it is written in old style English because it was written a very long time ago, but once you get used to that its SUCH an amazing book. It's kind of like when you start reading Shakespeare and you have to get your head around the fancy use of language before you can appreciate the lushness of the sonnets and plays.

It's been ages since I read an old classic. I feel so uncivilised haha. Nah, I'm not a book snob. I'll read anything from contemporary to a kids book if it entertains me. I read my favourite 5000 year old book before I sleep every night so I'm not ageist either LMAO

How is it almost 1am??? AND I have to get up early tomorrow too, why do I torture myself so much?!

Yeah, I should probably sleep I think sleep would be for the best.

Goodnight Everyone,

I'm sorry that this post had negative undertones, it's just I kept telling myself I wasn't upset and disappointed when I actually was and now I feel better for letting it all out of my system. I promise to try harder to be more loving in the future

From Minnie

P.S. New Day. New Start.

Oh so Suggestive

Just finished watching 'YES, Man' starring Jim Carrey.

It was quite funny.

Today was good, I gave someone a lesson in basic Japanese and for some reason my accent and pronunciation was better than usual.

I just think maybe I do things better when I'm not with my family so that when I say I'm pretty good at something they will never believe me and it ends up being this dreadful vicious cycle.

I was also invited for a trip to Barcelona today,

it was like....

'Would you come to Barcelona with us Minnie?'

Me -

'No'

and that was that.

I was also invited to London too, which I declined as well, not because I wouldn't like to go, but there is no one to go with so meh....I'm not that fussed about London....it has shops and old buildings and a palace...meh, been there, done that.

Ok you know those moments when you hear a certain tone in someones voice that makes you wonder what they actually mean.

for example when you hear someone talking about the person you like, but there is something in their voice that makes you wonder if they like him too??

WHICH IS REALLY SCARY!!!

I was just thinking about it and wishing I could REALLY read into voice tone and body language...I't would be so revealing.

Its really quite awful when someone you know likes the same person as you do. And you can tell they do, but they have no idea that you do, because you are so darn awesome at hiding the fact.

It once happened to me, but the guy actually sort of clicked with my friend and I was so cut up. It was difficult to even be in the same room as them...because I liked them both a lot and I wasn't jealous...just had that pitiful ache. Maybe that's why I cover how I feel a lot.

It's terrible...something along those lines happened today...well I mean about the voice tone...not the whole I like someone who a friend likes - I'm pretty pro at handling that kind of shizz now, not that it still isn't painful...but yeah, it was more about work...but I couldn't quite catch if there was a secondary meaning to what they were saying because of the way they said it...It annoyed me a bit.

I better sleep now anyway,

sorry this has been so short...half way through writing this I got into a really interesting and funny convo so I got kind of distracted and now its a bit late to write more.

I love you all LOTS N LOTS N LOTS!!!

From Minnnnehhhh

Short and Sleepeh

It was so difficult to wake up this morning because it was cold and I didn't want to get out of bed....in fact my feet are cold now....but I've just taken my socks off so they have to get used to being naked.

I worked a great deal today....a full day at the office!!!

This must be how working feels!!

Actually, its fun.

LOL, Im so gonna be low key on here tonight, I'm pretty tired and I'm lying in this weird position, which makes it soooo awkward to type.

OKKKK so other than work....nothing...I worked all day....had dinner....then watched a movie because eveyone had planned a big movie night in...which was ehfgjhwgfjhs in a way because my YJ eonnie was on msn and I really wanted to chat with her...but I guess we can chat next time and it will be GREEEATTTTT.

Hmmmm, I really don't know what to say....tirednesss is seeping into my bones...and maybe just maybe I feel a pang of homesickness.

I miss my dog a lot...I never feel awkward around dogs...they don't constantly judge you in their heads.

Ahhh I told myself I would get an early night tonight and its almost 12am.

PFT!

I know this has been a boring post and if I fear for my views I probably shouldn't post it, but Im just SOOO tired.

So GOOODNIIGHHHTTTTTT

Love Minnie,

P.S. I guess I should mention Jae since its just a normal day for him and he didn't just collect another year or anything. Happy birthday young padawan....you may be old now, but you are not a jedi yet.

Seasons Greetings

HEY EVERYONE!!!

Its Christmas EVE!!!

I guess I have a lot to say...some good...some bad, but Imma leave off the bad stuff for the rest of the remaining year.

I want to leave 2010 behind with a light heart.

I know you take most of the crap of the old year into the new year, but the best part about it is that it gives you a chance to change things for the better.

Anyway, my internet at home is broken...which is kind of like my legs being broken lolol...but I've managed for the past three days quite well.

Though my heart did kind of ache because I missed GTOP's album release...but HAYYYY!! These things happen.

The hilarious thing is, I was JUST pressing the 'BUY' button ordering that very album when the internet broke...it literally broke that very second. LMAO.

I've decided to go easy on the fandom over the Christmas period and just enjoy the company of my family and bathe in the great feelings that are wafting all over the place.

I'm not even kidding, Christmas eve is SO magical...there is is FEEL in the air. I find it hard to describe...I don't get this feeling any other time of the year.

Thanks Jesus for being born hahaha...winter would be HORRENDOUS without Christmas.

I feel so giving...I have to give you all just a smile though cos I'm truly broke *smiles*

I thought the problem with the internet was the modem so dad bought a new one for £59 and said I have to pay him back..anyhoo it turns out it was the broadband provider that is the problem...not the modem...soooo that was a bit sahgdjasgdjha

but at least when its fixed we will have one BEAST of a modem!!! Its AWESOME powerful!! ITS THE BOSS OF MODEMS!

*cough*

I can't believe I'm blogging about a modem on Christmas Eve, wth!!

I have this huge hideocity on my chin, it just grew in the past few days and decided to ruin my chances of having half decent festive pictures...nothing new there then lmao...I'm not a photogenic person at all...the camera has some kind of peeve with me I think...well hopefully by New Years Eve my scabby face will be a ghost of Christmas past.

It was Sammy's birthday on the 19th and we all sang 'Happy Birthday' to him...even daddy (who pretends not to love him as much as everyone else, but he totally does)...MY BABY IS 9 YEARS OLD NOW!!!!!

His ears are so soft too...even though I didn't find time to give him a bath...but his ears still smell delicious and beautiful.

Mannnn Im sneezing like crazy, because I cuddled Rocky, my grandmas cat, and my allergy just fired up!!

fdshkjfhskdjhfjkshdfjhsd

Grandma just brought in some early presents for us to unwrap...its kind of a Christmas eve tradition...even before opening it we know exactly what it is.

YESH BABY I GOT OSM NEW PENGUIN PJ'S and some slippers!!!

They are from La senza too..OMG SO COMFY!!!

I shall use them well all year round OHH SO SNUGGLEHHHHHHHH, I can't even....I'm actually going to put them on now...because I just have to!!!

OMG THEY ARE SO COMFEEHHHH IM NOT EVEN LYING!!!!

*calms down*

LOLOLOL

Grandma just said to Sarah,

'Your daddy and I have been eating cheese, do you want some?'

Sarah - *shakes head*

Grandma -

'Do you want chocolate?'

Sarah - *nods head frantically*

So now we have opened two boxes of chocolates and are currently shovelling the contents down our throats.

Orange creme...MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

I have this thing for orange and strawberry creme's...and also Turkish Delight...I can pick those out of the box without even looking at the paper thingy that tells you which chocolate is which....its like my nose can smell is gooey sweetness.

So I've been having to find 'other things' to do while the internet at home is kaput! I started watching Coffee Prince again dkfhsfjshdkfjhds GONG YOO is soooo dreamy...like seriously...I think he was in my dreams...last night..I think I loved him, but then he disappeared. Maybe he will come back again tonight LOLOL.

I shouldn't continue because this post will become like a dedication to the perfection of Gong Yoo and his perfect hair and height and deliciousness.

I also found Sarah's NDS and restarted playing Dragon Quest VI ...my little cousin borrowed it this time last year when I was in the middle of the game and he only just gave it back last week.

I was reunited with my 'YOUNGJAE' LMAO...I must have started playing it when I was watching Full House and named my main character after Rain's character in that drama.

Aww good times :')

Anyway, I played that for a few hours and got my characters all buffed up, so they can be all smexay and macho and beat some monster butt!!!

I get pretty rabid when I get into gameplay!!! Sooner or later you will find me screaming at the NDS screen telling all the baddies to GO TO HELL!!!

...which is probably not very nice of me...but those dudes just keep trying to kill YoungJae and I can't let that happen!!! I MEAN HE'S LIKE MY FLESH AND BLOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!! I practically raised him!!! He would never be as buff as he is now without my help..

Oh man....yes I do realise I am talking about a game character...

but I'm insane so you gotta give me a bit of grace here XD

OH OH OH!!! Now we are going to put the Baby Jesus in the Crib in grandmas model Nativity and sing 'Away in a Manger' like we do every Christmas Eve...cos grandma doesn't put Jesus there till Christmas Eve cos technically He is not born until then LOLOLOL...so Imma BRB!!!

*sigh* I love doing that...its lovely...so many memories.

Im sooooo tired!!! So I'm gonna lay me head down and see if I can actually sleep, I still find it difficult sleeping on Christmas Eve...even if I am 22...Im a complete child at heart.

I'm so excited for tomorrow, we have presents from Japan from Lulu and Haito and Kaito!!! THEY ARE SO PRESH!!! I miss them SOOO MUCH!! I wanna go visit them!!!

OH OH!! and on Wednesday, Judah took his first steps!!! It was so amazing seeing him walk!!! I was just thinking,

'Ooo he looks steady today.'

So I stood him up and called him to me and HE WALKED!!!! sdhfskjdh

Dora was like,

'I CANT BELIEVE MY SON WALKED HIS FIRST STEPS TOWARDS MINNIE!!'

But she got all emotional and cried and said it was like an early Christmas present haha

It was such a high though.

So yesh I shall go and sleep now and wake up fresh for tomorrow morning :)

So good night my dearests,

I wish you all to have a glorious Christmas and are all blessed and sjfksdj and to all those I love thank you for being there, wherever you are...you make my hearts joyful all year round...some of you make my heart sad too (LOLOLOLOL) but I adore you all the same.

For all those friends I can't be with yet, I hope for the day when we exchange gifts for real, but I want you to know that just knowing you is the greatest gift you can give me and I hope that you can feel the same way about me too.

I love you my dear dear friends

I heard some song lyrics today that describe it perfectly.

I look towards the East and see a star, Jesus Christ has blessed my life to know just who you are, you are my hope ~

fdskjfskdjfskdjfksjdkfj

So yes,

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!!

love Minnniiiiieeeeee

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS, YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Words Fall Flat When it Comes To You

I can feel autumn in the air now.

Its like still warm, but cooler and windier...I don't mind new seasons coming, sometimes its nice to have a change...but somehow, the novelty of winter gets old very quickly...

I find myself wishing for spring again.

You know what else I find myself wishing for?

Sleep

Gosh my bed feels so comfy its not right...I just want to sink down and start dreaming

I also quite fancy a munch on some bbq spare ribs...weird craving for this time of night I know, but there you are.

I stayed home most of this morning because the house was empty apart from me and Sam....SO NICE AND QUIET AND STRESS LESS.

Then later on I decided that I would want to make a lemon layer cake in the near future so when Sarah came home we went to the shop and bought more ingredients (andalsosomesushiandwaterandprinceofpersiadvd).

Then we went to check on Tia who was fine, but flirting with Good Jun Pyo (another pony we renamed because of his curly mane).

Then we sat in the shed where the hay is kept and had something to eat and I suddenly felt the need to pee.

I was like,

'I really need a wee.'

and then Sarah replied,

'Go do it in the stable and I'll clean it later.'

She was deathly serious too...I looked at her like she was mad.

I mean I know I'm her elder sister, but I don't expect that type of loyalty from her LOOOL

And there aint no way on earth that I will pee in a stable.

Ahhh I don't know *shakes head*

Me and Sarah were laughing about how, you know when you are walking down the street and when a member of the opposite gender is coming towards you and you see them looking and you are dying to laugh because you know if you look at them they will think,

'She likes me'

because you are like trying not to smile, but actually its just the whole awkwardness of it all that is highly amusing and you really don't even think they are very attractive.

And they will walk past you thinking they are God's gift to women and be completely deceived by themselves.

LOOOOOOOL Its just too amusing.

ANYWAY!

I'm going to make another cake tomorrow, I bought these cute little lemon thingies to decorate it, but my mum found the packet and ate them....I was very displeased with that.

I should write my name on my stuff in the future.

THIS IS THE PROPERTY OF MINNIE

Also today there was hardly anything to eat...you know when you make something and you just cant eat it?

It was like that.

Sammy ended up eating my lunch, no wonder he is a fatty.

Mum shouldn't go on about me getting too skinny...I refuse to eat any more beans and if there is nothing else to eat then what am I supposed to do?

If there was curry in the house things would be so much easier.

And I'm not skinny anyway, I'm at the appropriate weight for my height.

Why do parents always think you have to be fat to be healthy?

I've never felt better!

Ah you know, Im seriously flagging.

I better sleep. Sorry about the lame post.

In a nutshell, today was pretty lush, because I got a new dvd and more cake ingredients and best of all I got too see the lovely one's smile again after God knows how long. I missssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssed it! :D

From Minnie