If I really get into drawing something I fall into like a type of frenzy and get really tense and irritable...and I actually tap and bang my feet repeatedly and do really annoying things.
and Sarah is like,
'pshhht pshhhtttt, you wally stop it!!'
and Im like,
'NOOOOOOOO you dont understand!!! HIS EAR HIS WRONG!!! AND HE LOOKS LIKE A DRAG QUEEN!!'
It's true about artists being emotional.
Its like something comes over you and once you catch on to the picture NOTHING can get in the way of you, even if it takes hours and hours to complete.
You even have to stop yourself...because most pieces of art never feel like they are finished.
I've been drawing all of today and its emotionally draining...I don't know if anyone else feels like this.
Today I have been irritated, angry, stressed, scared, overly happy, depressed and sad.
and I'm sure it's because I'm drawing - its always like this.
I also had a dream last night which really upset me lolol. I know it's weird but some dreams just really get to you. It keeps coming back to my mind and disturbing me. As if I wasn't emotionally wrecked enough.
Why couldn't I have forgotten this dream like past ones?
It scares me.
----
The progression of my picture -
I've done a bit more than the last picture now, but I don't like the shading above his lips it looks kind of weird, so I'm gonna blend it more.
I was kind of having difficulties with the jacket he is wearing cos I've not drawn clothes in a while, just close up head shots, it took a while to get it how I liked it.
I'm growing to like it more now, when I first started it, it looked like a disaster so I'm kind of glad I persevered.
Though...I dunno if he looks like Min Ho or not lolol, someone thought he was Yunho from DBSK.
Mum said I should draw stuff people will be willing to buy...she likes this pic, but she doesn't think people would want a random Asian guy on their wall.
She doesn't know this is for me, it's pleasure drawing...with emotional drawbacks.
You see I draw the most relentlessly when I need a distraction, I concentrate dully on the shading and colours and lines. Completely forget about my surroundings...and life.
It's my escape. Something I can control too.
Do you know how hard it is for me not to be able to do what I wish to do sometimes?
It's so hard.
Sometimes things affect me so much I just have to laugh about it because otherwise I would cry.
That's why sometimes I don't seem sincere...but I am, completely.
and that's why when people think I'm joking it's painful for me.
It's probably my own fault, but it still hurts....quite a lot.
Awww I love this song,
'I'm getting into you, because you got to me, in a way words can't describe
I'm getting into you because I've got to be, your essential to survive.
I'm gonna love you with my life.'
Ah that brings back good old memories ^_^
I feel so helpless right now...
You know when you want to help so badly and you cant?
It's almost agonizing.
Ohhhh I know...this is a terribly depressing post...I'm sorry
I will regain strength and wont ever give up dont worry.
Life is a bumfaced donkey at times, we have to learn how to deal with its bumfaced donkeyness.
Just know my dear friends, that I will be there for you as much as I possibly can.
It kind of completes me to be able to be needed haha XD
Anyway, Im going to go back to MinHo, I need to draw his clothes...otherwise he will be cold poor boy :D
Much MUCH love from Minnie.
P.S.
Hahahah I found these saved on my comp...aren't they beautiful??
Those ones are happy pictures :D INNIT!!!
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