Beyond it All

Staying at my friends because I'm baby sitting for her tomorrow while she goes for an interview.

This morning I woke up in a bad mood, which is something weird for me...I mean, I'm usually sleepy and groggy in the morning, but not irritable.

Anyway...you know when you just want to be left alone and don't want to be talked because you ACTUALLY can't be bothered talking - I was like that.

My body is being a freak recently too, doing things I don't understand and that are not normal and I don't know whether it's due to lack of sleep or maybe underlying stress or something, but it's VERY tiring!

It's strange though - I feel so happy recently, you've probably (if you are a regular reader) that my blog posts have been less negative.

Ever since new year I made a promise to try and be a better person and be more giving and friendly and sincere. It's a hard thing to do and I mostly always fail because I am naturally a very selfish introverted person, but it has made a difference in my life. And I feel a lot more fulfilled - it's hard to explain.

I think the word is joyful. And trying to find joy in everything, even in the things that seem awful and heartbreaking. You have to think that things can be better, will be better. You have to have that hope. I think for a lot of people life is not beautiful because they don't allow it to be.

I know honestly, that I have a had a pretty cushy life. Always had food, had mostly everything I've ever wanted (the dog took a while but I got there eventually), known all my grandparents, my parents are both alive and still married, I get along (most of the time) with my sister, I have amazing friends who I don't even nearly deserve.

but, I have been through different things that have seemed like hell on earth and that it would never get better, but it always has got better. And I'm sure in my future I will have times where I will want to curl up and die, but knowing that joy can be found in the darkest of places gives so much hope.

There are so many people who I know who have had incredibly hard times, I can't even imagine - but to see them be so amazing after having experienced so much hardship, just astounds me. Do you know how amazing you are?

It's so encouraging for someone like me - who is lazy and easily discouraged - to see people like that.

So never give up on yourself, no matter who you are or where you are or how you are feeling. You can actually win, you can.

I know the things that are hurting me at the moment and the things that I'm worried about - they will all be fine. This is what life is.

And I want to thank every person who has ever told me their story, or ever looked out for me or ever told me to stop being an idiot because I was shooting myself in the foot...YOU ARE AN AMAZING PERSON/PEOPLE and you have helped me and I will always remember how you made a difference in my life.

LOOOL I'm getting all emotionful typing this out, because I really feel this so strongly. Every person I know or have known has blessed my life in some way or another. Arguments, distance even death can't take away from that fact.

I can't help loving people because of this.

Anyway, back to today haha -

I was lazing about for quite a while, then I forced myself to work out for a bit and get a bath.

The bath was SO nice, I used my new shampoo and I SMELL LUSH! lmao

Then I took my beautiful animal for a LONG overdue walk and stomped around the fields like a boss with Bigbang 'Tonight' ringing in my ears.

OH YEAH! The hoodies from Zaty arrived today! I LOVE MINE its LUSH! And Sarah loves hers too. Mine is the GD one and Sarah's is Seungri's. I'm HUGELY thankful for them and feel so loved MY LITTLE CUP OF JOY HAS COMPLETELY OVERFLOWED!

OH OH I watched The Blindside for the first time today! IT WAS AN AMAZING MOVIE! I LOVED IT! Totally understand why Sandra Bullock got that Oscar, she was amazing in it.

Honestly, I haven't done very much today, but thankfully, the bad mood I woke up with, has completely gone and I'm sleeping in a lovely comfy bed and am all ready to close my eyes and go to sleep!

IM REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND! ITS GONNA BE THE SHIZZNESS!!!

Ok I'm off to have some sweet dreams.

Night everyone!

LOVE MIN!

P.S.

One of my favourite songs we sing at church goes.

'You made everything glorious
You made everything glorious
You made everything glorious
And I am Yours
So what does that make me?'

REMEMBER THAT! YOU ARE GLORIOUS!

ok night XD