"I saw it in your eyes when I first beheld you; their expression and smile did not strike delight to my inmost heart so for nothing"

Here I am once again to relate to you, my readers, the events of my day - which has been slightly more interesting than it usually is.

Firstly, and most importantly though - I learned a new word from Zaty's FB status!!!

It is 'ngantuknye' and I have no idea how it is pronounced, but apparently it means 'sleepy'.

I did try and pronounce it in the safety of my own room while I was alone.

So here is a question.

If a Minnie tries, without success, to pronounce a word in another language in her room alone without anyone hearing...will it be less of a fail?

You don't need to answer that actually T_____T

So yes!!!

Last night I had this weird nightmare and usually I stay in my own bed for a while and let my fear subside, but this time I just got really afraid and ran to Sarah's bed ROFL.

THEN at about 5am the ipod started playing on its own (apparently) because Sarah got out of bed and went to get it....I didn't hear anything, but she said 'How did We Get' by Dae and Hyori started playing.

I can't even remember that clearly though because I was kind of out of it.

I was annoyed at myself though, because I'd wanted a good nights sleep as I had planned to get up at 6am, but instead I ended up waking at 7:20...which is still early, but not early enough.

The reason I wanted to get up so early is that I was going to work at this school for the day so I had to be there by 9.

It was ok in the end though when I finally got there.

The teachers who run the school have been asking for ages if I would go and work there, but I can only get there by car and because I can't drive yet, my mum has to take me...so its a little - awkward I guess.

And also, I don't like leaving Sammy at home alone for too long...even though the head teacher said that I could bring him LOOOOOL.

Anyway I got kind of thrown in at the deep end because I had to read some spelling tests and the first kid I got had special needs and the second kid couldn't really read or write in English....but they were so cute. sdfhakjdhfjka

We had to leave early because mum had something to do and I had an appointment at the job centre in the afternoon...but I quite enjoyed myself and I'm going to be at the school all day next Monday, so I'll see how I will fare then haha.

OHHHH Twitter went over capacity again!!!! I INTENSELY dislike when that happens.

I have needs!

Sometimes there isn't enough room on my blog to express my feelings!!!

This is why I have multiple accounts all over the place!!!

Omg I really overuse exclamation points, but I really do feel that it is the most appropriate usage of punctuation for myself.

AHHHHH DADDY IS GOING OUT!!!!

Im all aloooonee!!!!

Mummy and Sarah have gone to look after Bill again so it means that I will be mostly on my own the next few days T____T.

I really don't feel like being on my own today either *sniff*

I'm being so abandoned recently....omo my poor gentle heart, it only wants to give itself, but keeps getting rejected OHHH WOOEEE!!!

PFFFFT you must be joking.

Out of all the horrible things that can happen to a friendship, abandonment is the one I have had to deal with the most...the first time it happened was the worst.

It's not like I'm getting numb to it...I'm just less surprised when it happens.

I find it occurs because I am not enough for those people....or maybe they want more from me or maybe they want me to be something I'm not or maybe they don't like the way I am...so when I don't change or CANT change, they can't handle it and run away.

They also try and make it look like it was my fault that the friendship lost it's zing, but I know I gave everything I could.

I also know that I'm still there for those friends when they need me.

And I know that even though they let me down, I still treasure them.

I'm not going to chase them when they already know that I love them and I always will.

I don't think God would allow people to meet if he wanted them to dump each other in the end.

but I DO think people can ruin their own relationships with people, by being selfish.

When people start expecting less from their friends and start giving more the world will be a LOT more peaceful.

That goes for me too...sometimes I find myself getting bitter because it seems like it's me who is doing all the work - its me who goes to see them, they never come to see me or I always remember their birthday and they never remember mine - but in the end, I would rather be their friend than not and I know for a fact that I really do love them, because its only separation and over-thinking that puts those negative thoughts in my head. As soon as I see them, it all washes away and I realise over again how much I love this person and when they give me big hugs and say 'can't you stay longer?' I realise that they miss me just as much as I miss them.

LOL, can't you tell my whole life is the story of long distance relationships?

Out of my 22 years of life I have lived only 5 of those years in the same city as my best friend maybe even less.

There have been multiple occasions where I've had run to hide so I can cry, because either I'm moving away or one of my friends is.

It comes to a point where you start to expect people to leave you...I think I am quite hard hearted in that respect.

A few years ago a young couple from Iran started coming to our church and everyone got really close to them and they had two kids in the time that we knew them and they were adorable like little siblings for us.

Anyway they were asylum seekers in our country and after 5 years they finally got permission to stay and straight away they left Leeds and went to live in London (foreigners are obsessed with London for some reason).

Other members of our church got really upset when they left and cried and stuff...but me and Sarah just didn't feel anything...even though the kids were like our little siblings.

But we knew one day they would leave, we had seen all the signs of it before.

It sad really that we are like that...but so many people leave you in life...you have to discover early on who you can't live without and who are just passers by.

Not that the passers by are not important....sometimes they have a lot to teach you and there is a lot you can teach them.

A passer by can be the one of the most important people in your life.

I have this kind of instinct now, which tells me what people I should attach myself too and what people I shouldn't.

Everyone you care about is going to hurt you at some point or other and you have to decide who is worth keeping in your life despite the pain they cause you.

Its like, I know if they are keepers or not after just a few conversations. I know the ones I can be open with and the ones who will only ever see what I want them to see.

LOOOOL Its kind of a weird way to look at people, but I know I haven't talked about this side of myself here a lot.

Usually I'm rambling on about how annoyed I am or how lovesick I am, but there is more to me than that....I have many sides.

If I were a mutant from X-men I would be Mystique....except I would be a less cool and less naked and less blue version.

A lot of people think I am the same with everyone else like I am with them...but that's not true.

My sister (who knows me the best) finds it hilarious when people are so sure of how they think I am...when actually they know very little at all.

I've had this problem my whole life and I see it happening with my sister as well.

Does it happen to anyone else??? Where people are so adamant that they know how you are and what you like and they are soooo off track???

Cos it happens to me ALL the time, and its SO irritating.

Ah anyway, dad is still not home and I have no idea where he went and its almost 11pm.

Ah nevermind, he just called and called me lazy for saying I was tired at 11pm.

he said,

'What do you mean you are tired?'

ermmm...welll...being tired means that my body is drained of energy and I need to sleep so my body can rest and rejuvinate more energy for tomorrow...

How can he be so ignorant??

Maybe I will just lock him out of his own house and he can sleep in the van.

LOOOOOOOOL

Oh wait....he may not want to sleep, because he obviously doesn't know what tiredness is.

Can you tell that I'm peeved with him.

I might just throw the Bible at him later and tell him to read that scripture where it says you shouldn't provoke your children until they get angry.

Its hilarious how Christian parents always say,

'It says in the Bible that children should respect their parents.'

and then they conveniently forget the verse that says parents shouldn't annoy their children.

I sound like such a brat right now....but I'm tired and irritable and when someone calls and tells you to go out in the dark at almost midnight to their workplace and do the job that they will get payed for, you tend to get irritable.

Especially when they kick off and blame you for everything bad that happens every time you ask them for a favour.

LOL I was feeling lonely before and now I'm angry.

Its quite lonely when there are no passers by at the moment and your keepers are either asleep, not near, trying to push you away or making you angry.

All my keepers are weirdo's....in both good and bad ways.

*sigh*

Where did all the loveliness go?

I refuse to wake up early tomorrow...unless Sammy decides that he would like his weewee at 7 instead of 8.

Ahhh at least Sammy continues to be a lovely darling...just as he should.

Awwww, why does Nicholas Sparks write the most heart wrenching things??

and why is it, that when I read this -

“I have come to realize that destiny can hurt a person as much as it can bless them, and I find myself wondering why—out of all the people in all the world I could ever have loved—I had to fall in love with someone who was taken away from me.”
— Nicholas Sparks (Message in a Bottle)

I instantly want to read that book, even though I know it will either depress the hell out of me or make me intensely jealous of the characters who will have the perfect romance, even if it is tragic...or both.

I've read two of his books...he is not the best writer when it comes to description, but I think that's a good thing.

He keeps it simple, but makes sure the characters and storyline are strong.

There is no point in flowery writing filled with adjectives if the story is poo.

Why am I writing as if I were a literature teacher??? XDDD

I should start reading another book. I wanted to read Wuthering Heights but I can't find our copy anywhere.

Wuthering Heights is dark and tragic and thats how I feel at this present moment.

Nothing like a book about two lovers called Cathy and Heathcliff who's sweet love is destroyed by the fact that they both just don't sort it all out. Its all selfishness really.

Well if I can't be happy I don't know why Cathy and Heathcliff should. XDDD

I'm joking....

Isn't it ironic that its the novels that have tragic endings that are the most famous....maybe its because people can relate to tragedy more.

Am I writing too deep in this post.

Sorry if this post is a bit erratic...the fact is...I'm not completely happy and I'm trying to fill my mind up with distractions.

Please understand :)

I think I will go to sleep now...I can't be bothered searching for Wuthering Heights right now.

Night Everyone

Love From Minnie

P.S. Here's a few quote's from Wuthering Heights...the writing and language is so beautiful :)

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire."

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights

"If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be; and if all else remained, and he were annihilated, the universe would turn to a mighty stranger: I should not seem a part of it."

- Emily Bronte, Wuthering Heights