I'm Faking my Own Suicide, Because I Know You Love Me, You Just Never Realised~

I have had the weirdest morning.

I woke up and took my dog for a pee and then made a brew for myself and my mother.

and I was like joyful and feeling good (even though through the night I found it hard to get to sleep because these scenarios kept playing in my head - you know where you are arguing with someone, trying to convince them of things, but they just wont listen every time and it drives you crazy because you are so scared that they will never accept what you say as the truth?....yeah, this is why you should never let the sun go down on your anger LOL....I'm not angry any more though XD)

So yeah and tea in the morning is like the greatest invention EVER! Its the best wakeup IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!

I just felt so proud of myself because I'd FINALLY woken up before 9am after so many days of rising after 10am.

I was feeling so good!! (don't worry, I still am) I EVEN decided to work out this morning, because I felt that I needed some exercise because this week I've just been so gluttonous!! It's like the 'seven deadly sin' that I am most prone to.

Then SUDDENLY! I heard all hell break loose downstairs, and I was like

'WOAH'

(exactly like the turtle Crush? in finding nemo - I had a poster of him on my wall for years HAHAH)

It turns out my mum had completely flipped out because she couldn't find my sisters ponys passport and was screaming at my sister for misplacing it.

Because the vet was coming today to give Tia (Sarah's pony) her flu injection and you have to have the passport.

Though in the end I figured out that the passport wasn't really the issue with her and it was more of a - My children are huge dissappointments and I want to make them feel really small and insignificant just to prove my dominance - kind of rage.

So this morning I learned that -

The friends I have CHOSEN myself are not even real people.

I should suck up to the people I didn't choose to be around

All the desires and dreams I have are futile, because I am alive purely to advance the lives of my parents.

I am of no value or asset to the family

I am immature because I thought it would be nice for us all to go to the movies together...but apparently

'going to see a movie doesn't make people who have jobs happy'

and yes, that is a real quote - I promise I will never suggest going to the cinema ever again...just in case I offend people who have jobs.

My desire to see the world is WRONG and the right thing to do is stay in Leeds forever and ROT.

I'm a snob because I don't lose my temper in public

And Its ok to be late for work when you have family members to scream abuse at, but if you get out of bed a little later than normal on a day when you have no plans at all you are a waste of space.

-------

AND ITS ONLY 10:30!!!

I wonder what else I will learn on this FINE December morning.

Considering all this, I'm still feeling pretty good. I have some good ideas in my head and they are already shaping up.

speaking of shaping up, I'm gonna take the exercise bike for a spin and loosen up a bit...then get a nice warm bath to loosen up all this stress shizzle!

God help me :(

Love Minnie

P.S. Never make tea for your parents in the morning