I've been actually waking uo at horrendously stupid times - like 12:30pm
I DEEPLY HATE getting up that late (oo a rhyme!)
I think the main problem is that I have no actual goals for a day - no reason to wake up. So my inner brain doesn't feel any sort of urgency to send wake up signals at the appropriate time.
Dear Brain and Body Clock,
I have absolutely no quandary about getting up at a time like 7:30am or 8:00am. In fact
I would be really happy if you woke me up at that time. PLEASE. I LIKE A FULL DAY.
From Min
Another thing is I'm not 100% healthy - I don't know what it is.
but you know that bright feeling where all your senses are really alert and wakeful and you feel energised?
Well I haven't had that feeling for ages. My wisdom teeth have been shoving themselves through my gums for the past two weeks with great vehemence. It gets old really fast. Especially when I'm teething I always come down with some sort of cold or flu.
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I'm not complaining - I'm not. Just stating the facts. My life is OSM and I DO love it, but I am deeply yearning for more.
See human beings are discoverers. Every single person has the ability inside of them to do more - and more - and more.
We have goals and dreams and when we have reached those we create more goals and dreams.
We have unlimited potential even if we feel like we don't.
In my personal opinion a human being can actually do ANYTHING if they set their mind on it.
So many people don't move forward because they say they can't do something without even trying
I know this cos I am guilty of doing exactly that.
Another reason for not moving forward is laziness (also guilty).
There are so many times during the day where I don't bother doing something I told myself to to, or put it on hold for 'tomorrow' because I don't feel like it.
Actually, its an insanely bad thing to do. Not only are you slowing down your motivation, but you are also constantly telling yourself that you are untrustworthy. This batters self esteem cos you begin to believe that you aren't good enough to be a person someone else can trust - because if you can't uphold your own secret promises to yourself how can you keep promises you gave to other people?
This unbelief in yourself in turn makes you a bad friend, because instead of trying to be loving and giving, you just don't bother putting effort into your friendship and then it's a slow and painful road to a deep and meaningful relationship (if you ever get there).
Isn't it amazing what big consequences the little actions or lack of actions can have on an entire life?
Its just something I've been thinking over the past few weeks. I really want to come to some conclusions.
Just think what a powerful influence for good we could have if we cared as much about our small responsibilities instead of trying to make a huge impression and failing because we haven't built up that stamina.
From what I have gathered from like so far, success in this area boils down to these things:
Caring about the right things
Being generous (because to be quite honest you ALWAYS have something you can give, whether it be money, time, knowledge, love - infinite possibilities)
Having a desire to improve - even if you have to do things you feel are unnecessary to get there (like how can I make my room look nicer if I don't even pick the craploads of clothes that are scattered all over the floor)
Believing that you are created with the potential to overcome - because you most certainly are.
And a HUGE factor in this is selflessness.
Being selfless keeps you from being strangled and inhibited by the voices in your own mind that tell you that you are not a competent member of the world.
Selfish people are the worlds biggest UN-success story, because their lack of generosity halts progress in not only their lives, but also the lives of other people.
You have to remember that you have a responsibility to the people around you - even if you don't want to. The way you behave has a direct and indirect affect on every single person place or thing you come into contact with in your life.
It's a creepy thing, but you ARE being watched. Make sure you are a positive influence on the observers of your life - your attitude could be the thing that causes a chain reaction in the lives of the people around you.
Think about it for a minute - Yep, having a life IS A HUGE DEAL.
Oh and just so you know, I'm not preaching at you here. This blog is kind of a diary written to myself. All this stuff I'm saying is to remind ME of what I can achieve.
BUT
I do sincerely believe it applies to every single human on this planet. We all are on a lifelong learning experience.
There is so much I want to write actually, but I don't want to repeat myself and I don't want this to all seem like a dictionary just vomited all over my blog. So I will stop here and talk about more general life stuff.
THIS WEEK!
Monday was a Bank Holiday, so all my fam tidied ourselves up a bit and went to a place called Beverley to do a lil bit of shopping. Normally on a bank holiday we would go for a walk in the countryside, but the weather was rather drizzly so we opted for shopping instead.
Beverley is such a beautiful place and I wanted to go into a shop called Fatface, which is mainly stocked with surfing and beach type gear and spend all the money I have in the world. That would be silly though, so I just window shopped.
Actually, half of the shops were closed (because it was a bank holiday after all) so we just really meandered up the streets. Enjoying the beauty of this TINY city.
Did you know that in England (I don't know if it's like this anywhere else) if a place has a Cathedral or a Minster it is instantly a City - anywhere else is a town or village or etc. ?
So even though Beverley is very small, it is a city because it has a Minster. Cool ey?
So in the end I didn't buy anything except a book called 'A Picture of Dorian Gray' by Oscar Wilde. This I will read when I go on holiday to Cornwall in a few weeks time. I need to take a pile of books when I go. I always read something like 6 or 7 when I am holidaying - good times.
Last time I was on holiday I read: North and South, The Notebook, The Lovely Bones, A Walk to Remember and this book about mermaids and I've forgotten the title.
After Beverley we went to see grandpa and I crocheted a lot in the car. Dad and I went to see grandma at the old peoples home to and when she saw me she pointed and said,
'OH YES, DON'T THINK I KNOW ABOUT THESE FILTHY LADIES!'
I was like O.O
'GRANDMA I'm your OWN GRANDAUGHTER!'
Then of course she changed her tune and said I was lovely and asked me why I was in a place like this.
Alzheimers is a crazy ass condition - you just have to accept it and laugh, otherwise you'd cry.
On Tuesday I went out for the day with my sisters piano teacher, because she wanted some company - yes, my life has REALLY weird twists and turns.
We went to a place called Helmsley which is a town right in the depths of North Yorkshire. It was so nice to be so entirely surrounded by countryside. The air was fresh and fragrant - I just wanted to sit down and close my eyes and breathe it all in.
but, we walked around the town and went into some art galleries (the art work was just PHENOMENAL and AMAZING and INSPIRING) and bookshops and cafe's.
It was just a really nice day out.
On Wednesday - I woke up at 12:30 -.- Not happy about that. I didn't do much of anything of consequence, was slightly depressed. Judah was over at our house cos Sarah is babysitting him once a week so she can save money for the holiday, she is a good girl.
It was rather an 'I am SO annoyed at my parents day.' I tried not to talk to them because they just annoyed me and I didn't want to say anything I'd regret.
Then I went to bed feeling irritable and I couldn't sleep so I prayed to God in my head for like two hours straight basically just telling Him everything I'm thankful for and everything I'm struggling with and asking for stuff. After that I managed to sleep quite well and I woke up at 9:30 this morning which is still pretty late for me, but MUCH better.
So here I am today, typing this huge ass blog. Mum has made plans with one of her work colleagues - really badly planned plans, which have hooked every member of the family into it without asking so basically hostile feelings are flying around at the moment.
On my part, I have decided just to go with the flow. Even though I don't exactly want to be a part of these plans - I have absolutely nothing else to do and maybe this is a good time to work on my 'having patience skills'.
Oh Jesus help me, I REALLY want to kick off and be a rebel.
BY THE WAY!
I started watching this new J drama which stars Erika Toda and Miura Harauma. ITS AWESOME. SO MY STYLE.
The title is Taisetsu na Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta which means, 'I learned all the important things from you.'
The general storyline is this -
Miura Haruma wakes up one morning to discover he has a lady visitor in his bed and he cannot remember at ALL how this came to be.
Anyway he has to rush off because its the first day of school and he's a homeroom teacher.
The viewers soon discover that Erika Toda is Miura's fiacee and also his fellow teacher at the school. They are a very popular couple among the students because they are both young and excellent teachers.
Then of course comes the enormous twist.
As he is calling the name register in class Miura is horrified to discover the girl that was in his bed that morning is actually one of his students!
I've not watched more than one episode, but I think the storyline will cover how he tries to manage keeping the secret, seeing this student in his class everyday and also struggle with the guilt he feels for being unfaithful to his fiancee who he REALLY loves.
And also how the student copes with jealousy and rejection.
It is quite comical in some parts and Miura Haruma is FORCEFULLY DIVINE as well as a really exceptional actor for someone so young. I really love Erika Toda as an actress too, she is gorgeous and amazing.
It's just my kind of storyline. Twisted and completely illegal....with some good life lessons HAHAH
I think I should probably shut the hell up now :P
LATERS LOVELIES
From Min
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