I'm not Capable of Saying Goodbye

Maturity.

It's definition changes with every person.

There comes a point in a persons life, when they have to accept they are mature and then begin to act like they are.

Everyone gets mature physically at the usual stage...

but, being mature in mind is a totally different matter.

For example

When I was in my early teens I was considered mature for my age.

And in my early 20's I'm considered immature for my age.

So when do things change?

Maybe maturity isn't when our actions change, but when we know who we are and what we are meant to do.

Or maybe, maturity is something other people label you as.

Everyone has their own definition of it.

This is mine -

Someone who accepts that they are immature and yet is still willing to learn, who is scared of responsibility but still tries to be responsible and someone who knows the value of having fun. Someone who can apologize and accept when they are wrong and someone who can forgive when they have been wronged.

I could go on forever.

but to be honest...I don't think we are ever fully mature until we are dead

Our foundation started off as being a child, if foundations are taken away the structure will fall.

We should never neglect our inner child, never forget what that child dreamed...and always try and make those dreams come true.

and that was my rant of the day (kind of)

or maybe it should be called an opinion of the day, because I'm just not angry at all...I'm perfectly relaxed and as comfy as a fluffy pillow.....

It was my minopinion of the day! Booyah!

----

On another note...why do some women find Jason Statham attractive?? Because I can't seem to find words to describe how deeply unattractive he is.

Am I missing something??? :S

Maybe I just have finer taste...or like guys who have hair...or something.

----

I'm giggling so much at YJ and I with our habit of replying to celebrities on twitter with - JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ.

Tonight we have replied to three kpop artists in this exact manner

here is proof -

Spammage of Jo Kwon of 2am

Spammage of Junsu of 2pm

Spammage of Taeyang of Big Bang

(yes, no one is immune to the JJJ spamming of YJ and Minnie - not even Youngbae)

--------

And of course, just to brag about the awesome - ness of VIP's and how we like to waste hours of our time trending Big Bang on Twitter...well at least we got a result this time...and for two days straight.

#happygday was the most tweeted topic in the world for about 3 hours, in commemoration of the Kwon Leadah's 22nd Birthday.

AND

#bigbang4ever was at the TOP in celebration of the 4th Anniversary since Big Bang's debut in 2006.

Oh yes I am biased :)

Why the hell not?

Its like I like my dog better than all the other dogs in the world, but that doesn't mean I love the other dogs less, I just like my dog the most.... get it?

Why do I have feel the need to minopinionate a lot today?

It just seems like some people like to state their own opinions, but don't care about mine....

I'm not bitter or anything....I'm just saying............

*cough*

I get so wound up about stupid things LOOOOL

Minnie you Idiot

Its ok, I'm completely cool and stuffs *breathes*

Ohh, now I'm talking to myself...HAHAHAHAH

I'm sorry for being such a noob sometimes T____T

----

*COUGH* moving on...

Why aren't guys really like that??? THEY SHOULD BE!!!

AND THEY SHOULD SAY THOSE THINGS....

Its so lovely *sigh* (not perverse at all *sniff*)

and I heart those piano chords at the beginning of the song,

DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!

LUSH - I love the sound of the piano so much TT____TT

Did you know I can play the Saxaphone??? :D

Well sort of...I had to drop my classes because my Saxaphone was too old and it broke and I couldn't afford to buy a new one.

I loved playing that too *sigh*

Anyway, I'm kind of lost for what to say and I saw this thing on tumblr so I decided to fill it in for myself...I suppose other than I tend to rant you don't know THAT much about me and I thought you might want to know a little more about the person who writes these blogs so here I am in a nutshell :)

TEN ARE YOU’S
1. Are you single - Yes
2. Are you happy - Not completely
3. Are you bored – Not really - I like writing my blogs :D
4. Are you naked - No
5. Are you a blonde - Nope
6. Are you moody – I'm so moody I can't put it into words - but thankfully a lot of those moods are good ones.
7. Are you a lover/hater - Lover

TEN FACTS
1. Name – Michelle
2. Nicknames – Minnie, Min, Eonnie, Nuna, Cow
3. Any birth marks - Not really
4. Hair color – Red
5. Natural hair color - Red
6. Eye color - Green
7. Height - 5’2
8. Mood - Content for now
9. Favorite colour – Green
10. One Place You Want to Visit - Asia (LOL, vague - like I'm going to be specific HAH)

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE
1. Do you believe in love at first sight – Yes (guilty)
2. Do you believe in soul mates - Yes
4. Have you ever been hurt emotionally - OMG everyday :D
5. Have you ever broke someone’s heart? - I don't think anyone has loved me enough.
6. Ever had your heart broken? - cracked maybe...not broken
7. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? - Yes
8. Are you afraid of commitment? - No
9. Who was the last person you hugged? - My sisters Piano teacher LOOOOOOOL
10. Who was the last person you said I love you to? YJ

TEN THIS OR THAT
1. Love or lust - Love
3. Cats or dogs – Dogs (even though I love both, but I own a dog not a cat)
4. A few best friends or many regular friends - A few best.
5. Television or internet - Internet
6. Chinese Or Indian - Indian.
7. Wild night out or romantic night in – Anywhere as long as it's with you baby ~ OH dat funny :).
8. Money or Happiness - Happiness of course...however, I would like both.
9. Night or day - Day
10. Msn or phone - Phonecalls are LUSH and rare...msn is necessary and easy...I only like phonecalls from people whose voices I wanna hear...not salespeople from Scotland

TEN HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out – No.
2. Been skinny dipping - Yes
3. Bungee jumped – No
4. Finished an entire jaw breaker – Yes
5. Lied to someone you liked – Yes
6. Wanted an ex bf/gf back – Nope
8. Cried yourself to sleep? - Yes
9. Cried because you lost a pet – Yes :(
10. Wanted to disappear – On several occasions

TEN PREFERENCES IN A PARTNER
1. Smile or eyes - Smile
2. Light or dark hair – Dark
3. Hugs or kisses - Depends who the giver is :)
4. Shorter or taller – Taller
5. Intelligence or attraction – Intelligence
6. Romantic or spontaneous - Mix them up, lets have some fun.
7. Funny or serious - Both, at the right times.
8. Older or Younger - DC
9. Outgoing or quiet - I don't mind.
10. Sweet or Bad Ass – Sweet in a savoury way.

TEN HAVE YOU’S
1. Ever performed in front of a large crowd - Yep I played Sandy in Grease OMG HAHAH
2. Ever done drugs – Only paracetamol
3. Ever consumed alcohol? - Nope
5. Ever been on a cheerleading team – Im a VIP???
6. Ever Been on a dance team - No
7. Ever been on a sports team - Yes
8. Ever been in a drama play/production - YUP
9. Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? - Mercedes Benz, though techically, dad owned it...but meh, I loved it.
10. Ever been in a rap video? - No never in my life ever.

TEN LASTS

1. Last phone call you made - I can't even remember :S
2. Last person you hung out with - My sister
4. Last time you worked – Never?
5. Last person you texted - Can't remember
6. Last person you liked - Too far back to remember
8. Last person(s) you went to the movies with - My dad and Sister
9. Last thing you missed – The same thing I miss everyday
10. Last thing you ate - Rhubarb Crumble

LAST PERSON TO
1. Sleep beside you? My sister
2. See you cry? – The dog haha
3. You went out to dinner with? - Parents and sis
5. Flirt with you? - EW I don't let that happen!
6. Ask you out? - Some car creep...again.
7. Made you laugh? - My sister
8. Play something with you? - Sarah
9. Argue with you? - Jae probably
10. Yell at you? - Mum

ARE YOU
1. Simple or complicated? - I'm not sure???? Both?...Complicated
2. Retarded? - Sometimes
3. Funny or Stupid? - Yes
4. Happy or Depressed? - Both at once?
5. Emo? - On occasion
6. Sympathetic? - Yeah
7. In love? - Yeah
8. Hated? - No
9. Quiet or loud? - Quiet
10. Bored or excited? - Neither

DO YOU PREFER
1. Flowers or candy? - Flowers
2. Gray or black? - Grey
3. Colour or Black and white photos? - Both as long as they are pretty does it matter?
4. Sunrise or sunset? - Seeing both in the same day - I love that
5. Staying up late or waking up early? - Both haha
6. Pizza or burger? - Pizza
7. Boys or girls? - Boys
8. Tumblr or Facebook? - Facebook
9. Blonde or red? - Red
10. Piercing or tattoo? - Piercing

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY
1. Do you like anyone? - Yes
2. Does he know it? - Yes
3. If no, are you gonna tell him? ---
4. Why? ---

DO YOU PREFER
1. Sun or moon? - Stupid question
2. Winter or Summer? - Summer
3. Left or right? - Right (like I always am HAHAHA *cough*)
4. 10 acquaintances or having two best friends? - Best Friends
5. Sun or rain? - Both at the same time so they make a rainbow
6. Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? - Chocolate
7. Vodka or Jack Daniels? - Ew.
8. Coke or Pepsi? - Coke

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits? - I bite my nails and talk fast
2. Are you double jointed? - No
3. Can you twist your tongue around and roll it? - Yeah
4. Can you raise one eyebrow? - Yeah (I just did)
5. Can you cross your eyes? - I don't know
6. Do you make your bed daily? - No I don't

QUESTIONS
1. Which shoe goes on first? - Whichever one I pick up first
2. Ever thrown something at someone? - Yes
3. On average, how much money do you carry with you? - £5 atm...it varies though.
4. What jewellery do you wear? - None usually...maybe earrings sometimes ohh and my bracelet.
1. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - Twirl
2. Have you ever eaten Spam? - Yes :S
3. Favorite ice cream? - Chocolate
4. How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? - two, wheatabix and cornflakes
5. What’s your favorite beverage? - Tea
6. Do you cook? - Yes I do

IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU
1. Had a relationship? - No
2. Bought something? - Yes
4. Sang? - Yes
5. Been hugged? - Yes
6. Felt stupid? - Everyday
7. Missed someone: - Ditto

LASTS

1. Last Alcoholic Drink: - Drinking is for noobs
2. Last Car ride: - Dad...to church
3. Last Movie Seen: - The Princess and the Frog
4. Last Song Played: - I'll be There - Taeyang

---------------------------------------

Ok it wasn't the BEST look into who I am...in fact, it's pretty crap, but I've done it now so I'm gonna post it.

If you read it...sorry if I bored you with the 'yes' and 'no'.

If you didn't I love you anyway haha

I have more to say, but it's a bit late so I will sign off for now.

Good Night Everyone

Love Minnie

I Loike You :)

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But thats all right because I love the way you lie ~

- Love The Way You Lie - Eminem ft. Rhianna

Today I woke up at 10:30 am.

I hate walking up late, because I feel I've missed part of the day.

It's not like I would have done anything in that part of the day - but I kind of love the feeling when you know there is still LOTS more hours of daylight to go.

I love daylight...night time is for lovers and people with friends to mess about with.

I have neither so I continue to be a daytime-person...

However, I LOVE the darkness of thunderstorms...and then when the lightning rips the sky in half, you feel so insignificant but at the same time the adrenaline rush makes you feel like you can do ANYTHING.

Looking at nature makes you realize that every small thing you worry about will be history, but some things never change.

--------

My mum is on a huge house clear out...even the cellar (basement).
This is like RADICAL cleanage.
And it only means one thing...

Mum is clearing out so it will be A LOT easier to move house.

To be honest, moving house has been on my mind a lot recently. I may have even spoke about it in previous blog posts.

I wish we could move country *smiles* - If only.

We have too much tying us down though

Family and responsibilities (WOW!! THAT WORD HAS 4 'i's)....

I'm looking for jobs again :D

All Ive found is a part time one, that pays £270 per month...which is just not enough at all.

I want at least £800 or preferably £1000 per month...

For the following -

I always give 10% of what I get/earn to my church so - £100 to church.

Then

£250 to my parents - to SILENCE them XD

Then

£300 - 400 in my savings so I can fly east ASAP

Then the rest for personal things -

phone, clothes, driving test, big bang shizz, and gifts

Since full time work at minimum wage gets you at LEAST £1000 per month, you would think it would be easy for me to find work.

NOPE!!!

Its freaking hard!!! TTT____TTT

Oh please God help me find a job soon!!! Please Please Please *imitating Princess Tiana in The Princess and the Frog*

-------

Me and Sarah are web camming even though we are in the same house.

I'm trying out my new webby and this time my face doesn't look HIDEOUS (apart from the expression LOOLOLLL *not amused*)!!!



So basically, she could hear me laughing and it bugged her, so she came upstairs and hit me...

Just a little look into the relationship of Minnie and Sarah...

LOL at our facial expressions -

Me -

You hit me you SWINE!!!!

Sarah -

You won't be laughing so much anymore now!!!

Sometimes I feel as if I am the subordinate XD

------

We went out this evening and when we came back we discovered Sam had found the sugar which we had left on the kitchen side.

It had spilled all over the floor and when you walked it felt sooo tacky underneath your feet.

Dad was annoyed, but Sam is so cuddly tonight that you just can't be mad at him for long.

I wanted to video him, but I have 'misplaced' my camera - which is annoying, but I'll find it later, It can't have gone far.

----

Autosave keeps failing on my blog - NOT GOOD!!!

Ok, I refreshed it so it should be fine now.

So many times I've lost bog posts because of faulty Autosave!!!

----

Zaty eonnie told me today that I had dumped her recently for someone else.

I of course denied this VEHEMENTLY.

I know she was kind of joking around with me, but it got me thinking about where people place others in their hearts.

In my opinion, I think God made the human heart big enough to be shared in equal parts.

Its like just because you love someone doesn't mean you love anyone else less.

I think the more people you love the more love you have to give - The more you give the more you are supplied with.

And you have a special feeling for each person...a special love for each of them.

So you can't give one persons gift to someone else...they each have their own.

Am I making sense? haha

Of course, there are some times when a love for a certain person takes over...and yes...its a frequent and annoying thing at times.

But the heart never forgets someone it has loved, there is always a place for everyone - even when it seems like you've been forgotten.

You are always needed - this I know for sure!!!

So we must remember to let the ones we love be aware of it!!!

Because its preetty darn lush to know that you are loved.

and with that, I will end this blog for today.

but not without saying this -

I LOVE YOU!!!

...you all know who you are :)

From Minnie

P.S.

18/08/2010

Before Now...

You know, I often think about my life as it was before now.

Blissfully unaware of your existence - something which I can't help regretting

...even if it can't be helped.

I try to remember all the things which made me smile or made my heart jump

...or gave me pain.

and they all seem so insignificant now.

You see - there's just nothing like you.

...and I wish so much that I had known sooner.

-----

P.P.S.

Happy 4th Anniversery Big Bang :) You guys Rock loads.

P.P.P.S.

GET WELL SOON and FAST JAE!!! or at least, by the time you read this, you will be well enough to tease me about it. My favourite wally has to be healthy fo sho!

P.P.P.P.S.

Good Night Everyone :) Sweet Dreams (hopefully not about seducing taxi drivers to get free rides this time)

If Forever was a Pie I Would Share Mine With You

I was just reading an old diary entry of mine and thought I would share it :D

And you think I'm emo now? You should have known me back then XD

19/07/2008

I havn't written an entry in this diary for an exceedingly long time (like the cakes, haha).

This pen is pretty crap I may have to change it.

ANYWAY! There is not much that has been happening really. Maybe thats why I havn't written anything.

I'm still unsure of myself jst like I was when I started this diary. I'm beginning to feel like these past few years have meant nothing.

- which is probably my own fault, because I have this habit of thinking that things will just fall into my lap.

I don't feel 20 years old and I can't help but wonder if I will ever be independent.

I'd like to be, but I'm a coward and independence seems too scary for me at the moment.

There are all kinds of things I'd like to be or have - abilities and other things that would make me better.

Something seems to be holding me back though.
Sometimes it's like living in a prison.

I like my home and comfort too much and that love of being comfortable is keeping me locked in.

I never wanted to be like this.

When I was little I always admired those people and characters who knew their own minds and were strong and active and I wanted to be like them.

But look at me...I can't even pay for my dogs injections and my parents still tell me to go to bed.

I've failed my younger self in so many ways.

I was quiet then, even at school - never trying to be part of anything or trying to impress my friends because I always thought when I was older I would be this wonderful person who would fulfil their dreams.

And people would see that you don't need to try and be special to be someone special.

As it is, I still don't get noticed and I'm still a passing thought.

I wish I could blame someone other than myself for why I'm like this, but I can't.

I don't really want to blame anyone else anyway.

The addition of bitterness to my resume of pitiful-ness would be just enought to make me the most insignificant person on the planet.

I know I sound like I'm feeling sorry for myself, I probably am.

I don't care how I seem now, because in two years I will probably be in the same place - writing in a diary and wishing things would turn out differently.

Nothing ever happens like you want it to, life is so unfair on so many levels.

I'm bored and I wish I could just jump into a drama where it is fun and superficial.

Wow, I'm so sad I should possibly consider selling my life story to a famous author... mind, no one would read it because it would be boring and pathetic.

Ah well, I've run out of negative things to say, night.

And that was 20 year old me.

What a delightful person I was XD

but in my defence...I was very lonely then.

Not now though.

It just shows how much confidence you gain when other people let you know how much value you are to them.

Learning from experience, I will always let the people who I love know just how much they mean to me...just so they don't ever have to feel lonely like that.

---

AND NOW!!!

Warning: The following paragraphs will contain pure and unadulterated GUSHING FANGIRLING SPAZZING AND JUST A GENERAL LACK OF SELF CONTROL.

Just a little intro.

In South Korea the time right now is approximately 1:35 am which means the date there is the 18th of August 2010.

This date happens to be the birthday of a Mr Kwon Ji Yong.

This fact alone gives me the right to do this -

sgdnmskdliuagiysdjfasn,kfgavs fasufgajsbf,nlaskhvfnnas.kfiuogsvhfna.js;pyfogyahksfjipaogyirhsakldfougvzsnfm asfbjasf gyashjnfkoguasvhkfasyofgyvhsjfkaysgvhf asfugkjasmnjf asguykfjbnasfogyivhsf asygufkjasn,flo usagvhf asfgyhabd fasgfhjna sfgoukajsklfo agsyvfbkaslfyp gousajkf onyasogyf asfygjsajf oagsyvfhj asfiygvhbajskf tgsa fo asgukfjha supydhcljzn\bmczj\fzcbjnkzj\locgygzcyozgychbjzxcyogyizvxhcn xyzgcbjzxkivucgzjx vyaspifoay8fgkjsalrt73r89t78fauyhwjkdytawyifedjajsyodt9fyiqwkarjfdgsiyvhc jxnlihcoguvzhx czgkcgjdxfklj;s;fs'df;iygas'flaUSHFASDKFU CDFYGKZJHDSJF GZVSFHZJCF UFGDFGDSHVBFH ZUDGIYFH\ZISUFGH\ZUDGGJ\D\VJGZ DC\UKKFJD\ZOUGKD\LSFGYDXJCVGIZDHVFAJGUFDSAODGFGASLDIYASHKDJOUASIDN.\,ZXN.ZXLHUGODCZDLHFOIAYSDJHBHZSK\FJFAHLKYFBJSFDLAKFJFDHLTSYJFKASYFDVBSIRYFG\gdisoyugkjkjayougfksjdoguaskdlyfg aosudgkjfasdhoiugfkjasdghosldfgiudhg sudfkjnsdkugfkbjsdkfhgskjdf asuodjkfasdgsljbcm ,mbzvjz vnkxjblv zkxbv cnzxkhbc zxcnbzxc ,zxlgvcjz,xcguzj cmxjhgciyvxjcukgzxvczjgxycv zxjcvgj zcxjz hcxzcxvhz cxlzvfksdfuksdr8oiyerupwyoeurjwerbiwefrwe8rgiuwekrwoerugwer weiyrjwapygyorqlwdk\aldyaogysifjvxcvnhgxjgcjvzsdkfzsk\dktsj,fdligkjzjxdtfzuysjdgvcjkfzhxcjlaskjdkjshdgfgd bvksdiougfvhsdnf sdgfbjsd fhukjbsmdfhukhsdkofugbjsdf ....


Is that immature enough for you?

And yes, my fingertips are numb now.

My birthday message -

Dear Jiyong,

You will never read this, but meh, I'm a fangirl so I'm allowed to do things that would seem a complete waste of time to outsiders.

In a nutshell - you have given me great pleasure and amusement for over two years now. Your personality and charm brighten my day.

You never fail to make me smile and you are the only person who doesn't know I exist who I've ever cried for when I heard you were sick...I know...I'm weird...

I love your left dot so much...can I have it?

*cough*

I mean!!! JIYONG!!!

HAVE A WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY!!! YOU ARE AN AMAZING DUDE AND CONTINUE TO BE AMAZING AND BRINGING US VIPS YOUR SWEEET SWEET MUSICS.

You are an inspiration and my hero...and I really love when you don't wear a shirt.



BIRTHDAY SUITS ROCK!!!! (bae too woohoo)

You are so gorgeous I want to bite my own arm off...



Or if you let me, I will gladly bite yours off :D

Yours Truly,

From A VIP a little west from where U at :)

-------------------------------------------------

*consoles self*

but to be honest Jiyongs birthday is a small matter in my mind compared with the fact that I just want someone who is sick to be better very soon...

*covers face*

-------------------------------------------------

And now, it is 12am my time So I'm going to hit the sack.

I'm a bit irritated at my mum, who is watching the DVD's of my favourite drama, but skipping loads of it...YOU CANT SKIP!!!!

This is why I hate watching dramas with her.

Although I do find it cool that she likes to watch them :D

---

Well GDnight Dear Ones

Sweet Dreams (like I had last night)

Love Minnie

P.S. Be fine...

You'll Love Me at Once, the Way You Did Once Upon a Dream ~

Tonight at 8pm the Premier League will officially start...REAL FOOTBALL AT LAST :)

Well actually, it started last week...but I'm only interested in tonight's match.

Man United V Newcastle

:D

*happy happy*

I just ate ice cream and my face feels so sticky...I hate having a sticky face, I feel like I cant touch sam because his hair will stick to me haha.

and I just love to cuddle him and bury my face in his fur...he's like a big living teddy bear.

My room is getting messy again -.- The dvd's are spilling onto the floor as they usually do...and that is the sign that mess will be appearing soon haha.

Gosh my room is so hot today. I'm a bit dizzy and I've been eating junk so I feel crappy.

My wisdom teeth are giving me grief too I should take pain killers.

Maybe I should take Sammy for a walk now to clear my brain a bit!!!

I NEED POSITIVE ENERGY!!!! :D

LOL Sarah just made me laugh she said,

'Ohhh I wish I was snsd, you know like a mixture of all of them...no actually that would be weird wouldn't it....if you put them all together they would be my size.'

ROFL, she is so weird.

I must do something now else I will vegetate.

I really want to watch The Lion King - Its my favowite :)
I think it was The Lion King that actually made me love animals.
Nothing better than a talking carnivore to get you inspired.

No actually I've always liked animals, from since before I can remember.

It actually took me very long time to brainwash myself into thinking that humans are more important ;)

But animals are great...imagine how boring the world would be without them? It makes me sad when people say they hate animals and creatures, or that animals are boring.

How can someone say that about our companions on earth?

And I LOVE dogs...don't get me started on how precious dogs are to human kind....I will be ranting all week.

Anything that is fluffy and cute with eyes that say,

'Take me home and keep me forever'

I like baby Cheetah's too....THEY ARE SO FLLUUFFFEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

ADOULSAkjD as so CUTE!!!!

-----

I am happy to announce that Manchester United won the match 3 - 0

LOL at Newcastle those noobs....

____

I had a lovely juicy rant to spam out on this morning, which I'm sure you would have enjoyed to read, but now I am calm and collected.

and as Mico tells me,

'You shouldn't be too angry because it gives you wrinkles.'

Isn't mico a darling???

YJ and I are so lucky to have him!!!

NO ONE ELSE CAN!!!!

*public claimage of Mico*

I want a CEO talk soon!!!! I miss triplet together times!!!

Ohh myy!!! I have done nothing all day.

My dad just came upstairs and said,

'Have you got a job yet?'

and I replied,

'Its 11:45pm, why would you ask me that?'

My parents are so strange sometimes.

My mum just started hoovering and its 12am LOL

Who hoovers at Midnight??

-----

Mind you, my sister is drawing at midnight...its probably a picture of Chansung...

Take that back...it was of kim bum

and it was actually pretty good.

She NEVER draws in the face, but she actually did this time...not bad Sarah lou!!

-----

and I'm gonna go to sleep now. I know.

This has been a pretty rubbish blog.

BABY DUCKLINGS ARE SOOO CUTE!!!!

:)

Good Night

LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEE From Minnie

P.S. Sorry for freaking out today on msn...but you make me mad sometimes you know :D and yes this is aimed at YOU...YES YOU *points*!!!!

Refresh and its Another Beginning to Another Week

This week I need a new start.

Last week I was pathetic, I realise I was pathetic.

I couldn't help being pathetic...but I need to deal with my situation right now and face it head on!!

People read my blog and I don't want to get you down (even though I know my rants are pretty entertaining....for some of you -.-)

So here is to a brand new week, which I hope will be as equally wonderful as last week was bad.

I have to be positive now. Negative is just not my style.

I mean I can act negative for about three days, before I get bored of it...I'm kind of cool like that :P

When Sarah gets home we are going to watch the last episode of Personal Taste together, I'm sure I will cry...like I did last night when I watched episode 15.

You know the one, where he is just mean to her for no reason, if he wasn't gorgeous I'd so want to slap him.

I hate finishing dramas because there is always an empty place in your life where that drama once filled.

I will miss Lee Min Ho's hair so darn much TT___TT

Every time I see that fine male specimen I want to draw the hell out of him. He is just so beautiful.

Mum is always like,

'Your pictures are very good and everything, but people wont want to buy a portrait of some Asian guy they have never heard of.'

In my head I think,

"She just called Lee Min Ho 'some Asian Guy'"

And I say,

'I know, but it's good practice and I like the skin tone.'

ROFL the skin tone...basically I draw whatever I think is beautiful...

and I think Lee Min Ho is beautiful.

He can look disgusting and just got out of bed or have vomit all over his shirt and I'd still think he was beautiful.

Its like he has an immunity to ugliness.

Anyway, I made a crappy vLOG because I do that sometimes, so Imma post it here instead of FB...because FB has STALKERS!!!

Erm at the beginning I'm mumbling about how I hate it when people (my mum) talk to me while I'm filming a VLOG and then my dad did that EXACT thing...I dunno if you can hear me properly thats why I'm explaining it here ROFL.

I need a better camera soo badly

Anyway, here is the vid :D



-----

I finished watching Personal Taste now T__T

What can I possibly watch now??

I need a source of eyecandy to feed my cravings.

I'm a person who admires beautiful things!!!! I need to see beauty!!!



-------

Its 12:40 now, I should sleep, I want to write more but my chrome keeps crashing.

Its UTTERLY Irritating!!!

Night Lovessss!!!

From Min

Loving the Loving

I was feeling a little better today, but still not 100%

Having nothing to do really sucks you know.

Its like, waiting for something to happen, but nothing happens.

And doing nothing is so much more fun when you are supposed to be doing something.

I think this sickness I have is kind of caused by a teeny bit of stress. I'm getting annoyed with myself for not having money.

Going to uni is supposed to open doors of opportunity for you and I felt so confident that I would soon be earning money so I could do the things I wanted.

And yet...here I am....with nothing to do.

Waiting for a phone call from a prospective employer, but its not coming.

Is this a type of depression I wonder - when nothing goes right at all?

It's kind of like an emptiness...or an acceptance that everything about yourself is useless.

No one wants me to work for them...

It seems like no one wants me at all...in any aspect of my life.

The weird thing is...I'm emotionless about it. I feel nothing. I wish I was sad and have a heavy heart and felt like crying.

I don't even feel numb.

I just feel nothing...like I'm a rock.

Maybe this is just how my inner self defends itself from being hurt.

...but actually, I would rather feel pain than this.

I'm hoping to goodness that I'm just having a really bad week and things will get better soon.

By the way, this is not even an emo post...I'm not sad or anything. I'm just stating how I feel right now.

It's weird isn't it?

OH PLEASE SOMEONE CAUSE ME TO HAVE SOME KIND OF EMOTION!!!!

Ohhh what if I become one of those sullen old unmarried ladies who no one likes and she dies and no one remembers???

Ok maybe that is a bit far fetched, but I just hate the feeling of being stuck.

I find it not fair!

Its not fair that I can't get a job with animals.

Its not fair that I don't have money.

Its not fair that I have to feel like this.

Its not fair that the friends I want to see are so damn far away.

Such an empty feeling.

Like white noise.

I want to feel something - to laugh, to fight, to cry, to hurt, to smile, to kiss, to hug, to dance, to sing, to wake up refreshed, to be wanted, to be close.

I want to go to the movies and go for walks and I want to swim and run and slap someone for being a complete asshole.

I want to get mad and shout and I want to make up.

I just want to live and please God at least let me love.

And I want to be needed just as much as the next person does.

I really want relief...relief that this was just a momentary phase and that I will be able to feel the warm sunshine tomorrow instead of this awful nothingness.

AND NOW!!!

I'm going to count the money I've put in my money box over the past month. Lets see if saving is effective shall we?

------------------------------

1p = 38p

2p = 82p

5p = 85p

TOTAL - £2.05

10p = £1.60

20p = £4.40

50p = £1.50

TOTAL - £7.50

£1 = £4.00

£2 = £2.00

£5 = £5.00

TOTAL - £11.00

GRAND TOTAL - £20.55 (WOW)

That's actually quite a lot of money considering the box isn't even a quarter full yet...COOL!

Imma try and get it to £100 and then put it in the savings account towards travelling.

I actually feel a bit happy about this!!

YAY a feeling!!! XD

right...just going to watch The Princess and the Frog with dad and Sarah...again.

Dad will probably fall asleep.
--------------------------------

...he did fall asleep LOOOOL

but woke up for the ending.

An ending that made me smile (again)

Prince Naveen is so sdofhjknsdfsodlfks

Charming and full of himself and sure of himself and sure about everyone else too -.-

Is quite selfish, but not unkind...just sort of doesn't think.

And he's pretty much a noob too - but figures out what is good for him in the end.

I like Prince Naveen :D

The first thing dad said when he saw him was,

'Its Aladdin's Brother!'

LOOOOOL

I find it hilarious how an ex-soldier sits and watches Disney cartoons with his daughters (even if we are constantly waking him up so he doesn't miss anything).

I suppose he should have known it would come to this. On his first date with my mum they went to the cinema to watch The Rescuers which is a Disney cartoon about heroic mice XD

-----

I bought a new webcam today. This means both computers can have one now so me and Sarah don't have to fight over the old one anymore.

I'm still trying to figure out what the new one can do though...the only thing I found out so far is it makes me look hella ugly.

but maybe that is just me being exceedingly pessimistic.

I hate being like this.

I like being optimistic there is no such thing as being TOO happy and TOO nice.

being nice makes you feel better about yourself. Even if someone is a lousy good for nothing, you should still be nice to them.

Who are we to judge why others behave the way they do when we can't even get over ourselves and be kind and considerate?

Its so much easier to be incredibly disgusting than it is to be nice.

Everyone should just man up and push their pride down and be a little kinder, then maybe this world would be a better place.

And no, it doesn't make it easier to be taken advantage of.

You don't have to be a gullible noob to be nice.

---------------------

OH! GD girlfriend rumours ---- could this day get better??? -.-

I mean...I wouldn't be surprised if it was true, but...*sigh*

If she makes him happy and he writes awesome love songs because of it I can't complain... I am but a humble VIP.

Bigbang :) I luvem!

Jiyong is like a beautiful dream, with beautiful hair.

Now who can I marry??

We would have made beautiful babies, ROFL

Oh Jiyong *sigh*

Boys are so weird sometimes.

-------

Well its late and I'm tired and need some beauty sleep. I've had two full nights sleep which is helpful. So I'm hoping I shall have another deep and dreamless slumber.

Good Night Dear ones

Sorry for this weird post...I'm really not myself

but one thing, I still love you!!! :)

From Minnie

------------------------------------------

I Miss You

(written sometime last November if I remember correctly)

Yes, I missed you

I missed your face

I missed your eyes

I missed your nose

I missed your hair

I missed your smile

I missed your movements

I missed your arms

I missed your jokes I missed your concentration

I missed your distraction

I missed your smirk

I missed your sudden laugh

I missed you positives

I missed your negatives

I missed you ears

I missed your mouth

I missed your sadness

I missed your happiness

I missed your abruptness

I missed your tests

I miss you then, there, here, now, everyday and all the time

So don't go....

We don't realise how much we need some people until they are gone.

Its wonderful to know people who can mean so much just by being alive :)

They make my little life truly spectacular.

Its not all about me.

night.

Just Give Me that Smile, Oh Baby Come On - I Can't Live Without It ~

It is official now.

I have the lurgie ... the evil sickness...its like -

No energy
Sore throat - but the dry kind that prickles so much that your eyes water and when you try and cough nothing happens.
Blocked nose
My face makes it look like I've had a head transplant with Medusa - attack of the eyebags as well as a visit from the ZIT fairy makes me want to stay indoors with my head in a bag.

The only thing worse than feeling ill, is feeling ugly and ill at the same time.

So I just gave myself a full facial ROFL...my face feels better about itself now.

Why do I always sneeze JUST as I'm about to take a sip of tea? Its spills EVERYWHERE!

My bedside cabinet has tea stains all over it - icky and sticky

and I'm REALLY CRAVING jaffa cakes.

Oh someone give me one of those melt-in-the mouth chocolaty spongy orange-y treats so I can delight in the yummy goodness of it all.



T_T Oh that I were that plate that I might touch that jaffa! (see how I totally stole and transformed Shakespeare's line then? omo!)

The discomfort that this cold/virus thingy is giving me seems to be magnified with every passing hour...later I will be laid out on my bed like a dead fish in an icebox.

Dad has a bad ankle, he is a delivery man so therefore he can't drive, cos its his clutch foot and we use the clutch a lot in this country - you know, manual gears and stuff....

Unfortunatley dad likes to make us do stuff when he is off sick - this morning was no different.

'Michelle go get my prescription from the doctors before 12pm'

'Michelle get some toilet roll and bread from the shop...and something for dinner too.'

'Michelle get some dog food.'

'Michelle hoover the front room and the stairs.'

I complained a little saying that I was ugly and couldn't be seen outside,

he said,

'Minnie, spots don't make you ugly - ugliness makes you ugly.'

btw - English people call zits and pimples and etc. 'spots' in case you didn't know...I thought everyone called them spots until recently :S

So I went out anyway to get his meds and the other stuff (but I got milk instead of bread, because today Im completely out of it)

Then later I'm hoovering and I look like the living dead and dad comes in and says,

'Whats up Min? Are you upset about something?'

I felt like shouting

'OH!!! YOU'VE ONLY JUST NOTICED???!'

but I didn't, because I wasn't mad at him...I was way too zombie to have any feelings at all.

'I feel ill dad. You know...like I've been saying since yesterday???'

He just looked at me and walked out of the room - like it was impossible for me to be ill or something and I was just lying to him.

But dad is like that,

once I was vomiting into the toilet in the middle of the night and he came into the bathroom and said,

'Are you going to use this as an excuse not to go to uni tomorrow?'

UM, YES!

But I don't get irritated by these things, they actually amuse me.

It just shows you how a lot of the times the people who you can't live with are the people you can't live without.

Mum on the other hand.....ROFL...no no I do love her....she is just nagging at me to text someone about a job and I just want to crawl under my covers and close my ears.

I did it anyway...lets hope the nagging ceases now XD

So!!

Tuesday night I stayed over at Dora and Dominics house so I could babysit Judah the next day.

I could hardly sleep at all my throat was on fire the whole night and then when I finally dozed off, Judah started crying and woke me up again LOL

It was really unfortunate because the bed was so freaking comfy.

Usually I can sleep anywhere...its like one of my gifts.

I've slept under a table in a restaurant before (granted, I was about 4 at the time, but still...)

Anyway, I finally fell asleep only to be woken up by Dominic knocking on the door and asking if he can come in to get his USB pen from the PC.

I just mumble something like,

'Yeh sure.'

and sit up looking like a blind rat faced camel.

he just nodded at me and said,

'You alright?'

before going out.

...

'sure...IM JUST GREAT.'

The rest of the day I spent playing with Judah, and watching those MIND NUMBING kids programs like Into the Night Garden where the characters are called names like, iggle piggle and makka pakka.

I'm telling you now!! That show is PERVERSE LOL.

Then when I put Judah down to sleep I watched Never Been Kissed while eating baked beans.

Never Been Kissed is such a sweet movie...

'I'M NOT JOSIE GROSIE ANYMORE!!!'

Brings back memories. :D

OMGD LEE TAE SUNG PLAYS THE AH JIN CHARACTER IN THE K-VERSION OF 'IT STARTED WITH A KISS'

SDROWULJDMFNAS FAYSPIHDLKAMSLD UAYSGOUDBJKASD EROWUELRJWEGROWEUFWEYFSILKFsf/s.dkflkisdufsdflsodyfigs

I am very looking forward to that drama.

I REEEALLLY like the Taiwan version, So when I heard there would be a Korean remake I spazzed out with YJ eonnie (who is also a massive ISWAK fan.

AND it has eye candy TT___TT

Oh the good things in life!!

Kim Hyun Joong's hair in the photoshoots looks like Yamapi's used to be in Kurosagi days.

COOL!!!

I want to feeel it.

One thing though - I hope the kissing isn't stiff like in BOF. There are not many things worse than having to watch two people kissing as if they were rubbing two bricks together.

I dunno what the hell they were doing in BOF, because we all know that Lee Min Ho can do better than that...its proven in Personal Taste.

Lets hope Hyun Joongie pulls out all the stops :D After all, the drama is called 'Playful Kiss' not 'Brick Kiss.'

I've not had a reply about that job... looks like I will have to do more searching :(

I was so positive about that one too...ah well, some things work out and some things don't.

There is a reason for everything.

BUT,

England won the friendly against Hungary last night.

It was actually a pretty good game considering that most of this country is filled with shame and disappointment towards our national team because of their POOR display at the World Cup.

I'm just shocked that they are still the 7th best team on the planet.

But anyway, Steven Gerrard got two amazing goals...it was very impressive (even if he does play for Liverpool D:)

Hungary got one goal too, but it didn't go fully over the line, because it was knocked out by an England player (forgot who).

It was given though because the linesman said it was in. Though later the computer images proved otherwise.

Daddy said the linesman said it was a goal because he was French and didn't want England to win.

All the way through the match mummy was going on about how they needed Eric Cantona playing for them.

We were like,

'Mum, Cantona can't play for England because he's French and retired.'

She was like,

'I know that, but they need to play like he did.'

Gerrard must have taken her advice because he scored the goals soon afterwards.

Shame he couldn't have made it a hat trick though.

*sigh*

At least England have lifted some of the shame...slightly.

I'm hungry...I wonder when dinner will be ready.

Mum is cooking some lamb shizz (dunno the name)

Well!!!

Imma go now innit :D

See you later gorgeousses

Love Minnie