Morning Drama

This morning I got really scared.

Mum and Sarah had just gone out to work and I went back to bed to lie down (kekeke)
Then suddenly I got this pain in my stomach so I thought,

'Hmmm this could be trapped wind or something.'

So I decided to walk around the house for a while, but instead of getting better it got worse and I was getting quite irritated.

I thought,

'It could be cramps I suppose.'

So I went into the kitchen to stretch out on the floor, but instead it got worse and was just lying on the floor because the pain had intensified so much.

Then Sam started barking at the door and I thought,

'Ohhh please postman, don't have something I have to sign for.'

I managed to get off the floor and make my way to the medicine cupboard and found the painkiller straight away, but as I was getting some water my eyes started getting all fuzzy and I passed out...I came round pretty fast and managed to shove the painkillers down my throat.

I stood up, but then it happened again, so when I came round again I just sat on the floor for a while waiting for the dizzy edge to wear off. As soon as my head was clearer I grabbed Sam and locked him in the study because he was getting past himself.

Then I ran back down to the kitchen got a glass of water then ran back to my bed and lay there waiting for the painkillers to kick in - which they took their sweet time doing -.- But now its almost completely gone.

Anyway I'm just sat here on the couch in the front room, waiting for my dad to come home for his dinner.

I'm actually really bored, I was going to go out today, but I think I should just stay indoors until I know that I'm fully OK.

I'm hungry too, but I don't know if I should eat :S

I might make some ramen or something...I don't know.

I havn't even taken Sam for his walkie yet >_< Dad will probably have to when he gets back.

This is so irritating :@

And now I feel suddenly very tired. Gonna have a nap first.

Aigooo

Love from Minnie

HELP!!!!! :)

I just realised I accept people on FB without looking at who they are.

Like just before I accepted a request from a Ki Kwang Lee and I thought,

'Wait a second, that name is familiar.'

and then I realized it was just a FB one of my friends made so that they could make themselves to be in a relationship with Ki Kwang (AJ from Beast).

LOLLL

These hardcore fans.

I mean I adore GD but I would never go that far XD

Ohhh G Dragon *dreamy eyes*

He is an utterly delicious distraction you know.

SOOOOO.

Does anyone want a portrait??

I have nothing to do and I need to keep in practice.

If you do, send me a picture...it can be of anything, you, a family member or friend or even a pet.

Then tell me if you want it in watercolour, pastel or a sketch.

Ja Ne!

From Min

Gotta Get this off My Chest

You know, its hard trying to be happy after this week.

I am trying though, but then I get this feeling that rushes over me.

You know, that feeling like as if a cold hand is grabbing your heart.

It's so hard to shake off sometimes.

Sometimes I wish I could cry and let it out that way, but I really don't feel like crying.

It's not that kind of feeling.

It's like sort of...I feel nothing at all, like I'm completely numb and then every so often I feel everything at once and it kills like mad.

I'm not trying to be emo and I try and distract myself as much as possible...but I just wish this feeling would get the hell away from me.

but for all those reading, don't worry ne? I'm trying my best to be positive about EVERYTHING. I just need to let it all out here because I'll feel better...you know how it is. Not healthy to keep things eating away inside and such.

I feel better already even, lol.

Thank you for all your kind words and stuff, I really do appreciate it. It means a lot to me. I realise that you are not there to make me feel better and I don't want to use you all for that, but you really do.

I was feeling so down earlier and I went on twitter to emo spam and YJ was there and we just talked about random stuff, but she just makes me smile.

And to be honest having friends and family that can make me feel happy and better about being alive just by being alive themselves is so much more fulfilling than anything I could have had, but lost.

I look back now and realize I'm blessed, because I've only ever lost things I've WANTED. I've never lost anything I have NEEDED.

Sarah makes me laugh, because she sometimes catches me when the whole world collapses round my shoulders.

Like yesterday we were watching The Princess Diaries and I said,

'Sarah...'

She was like,

'What?'

then I thought,

'Oh nevermind I don't wanna be depressing and this feeling will pass in a minute so meh.'

then I reply to her,

'Oh nothing it doesn't matter.'

then she says in an irritated voice,

'Tell me now Minnie!!!'

Me,

'Nonooo it doesn't matter I'm serious.'

Sarah,

'TELL ME NOW!!! YOU ARE DOING THAT WEIRD SMILE YOU DO WHEN YOU ARE EMBARRASSED TO TELL ME SOMETHING BECAUSE YOU KNOW IT WILL ANNOY ME!!!'

(I admit I do do a weird smile, when I think about certain things and Sarah catches me and says

'STOP IT, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!!!'

. Of course I strongly deny it, but it's all lies XD Apparently I can be read like an open book, oh dear haha)

At this point she gets the remote and pauses the movie and her expression is like
-.-.

'tell me now'

By this time, the feeling of depression has lifted and I'm just amused.

'Nooo, it fine now, PRESS PLAY!!!.'

She pulls a serious angry face, but I know if I look at her for more than 10 seconds she will smile, because I'm magic like that.

To be honest she held out quite well, but she couldn't help but smile - which annoys her even more XD.

'Just press play, I wanna watch!!!!'

I say

She pulls the -.- face at me again and then presses play.

It funny how the simplest of moments can make you smile isn't it?

So!!!

ON TO THE NEXT WEEK!!!

Things I am hoping for next week -

My passport arriving *hopes*
Hearing news about the Taeyangs deluxe which is heading my way
Going to see Eclipse with Sarah
Hoping people will not ask how I did in my results >_<
Hoping to find a great job that I will enjoy.
Hoping the people I need will need me too *sigh*
Hoping Zaty eonnie will recieve her ELT hoodie XD
Hoping the knot in my stomach goes away
Hoping for inspiration!!!

----

Yesterday I met some kids who's dad is Japanese. They are the grandchildren of my sisters employee (who is also a good friend of my mum).

THEY ARE SOOO CUTE!!!
Especially the little girl!! She is called Lulu and 4 years old and SO cute.

She asked me what my name was and I said,

'You can call me Michelle or Minnie.'

She was like,

'Imma call you Michelle because I like that better.'

I was like *in a serious voice*

'Ok then, I will allow you, but you know this is a special privilege.'

....

by the end of the day she was calling me,

'Tiny.'

because I'm shorter than my sister haha.

Her brothers are so cute too, the oldest one LOVES collecting frogs and insects. And he had random animals in jars and buckets all around the garden. We ended up having a frog race in this big pipe that was filled with water...his frog won. Mine was too slow, figures.

The middle boy is the quietest of the three and he is probably the coolest. He just sits back and observes his older brother and younger sister and looks amused.

He said to me,

'Those two always fight and I just watch them.'

His hair is lush, it has red in it because his mum is Caucasian...he wont even need to dye it when he's older haha.

They are all a bit sad because they are moving to Japan in a months time because their dad got a new job. So I hope they settle in straight away and it's great for them.

Ahh anyway, I must take my doggy for a walk and hopefully my brain will clear some more in the fresh air.

See you later darlings!!

Love from Minnie

New Days Ahead

Now I will be blunt.

I didn't get my degree...

I failed three modules and you can only retake if you have failed two.

The worst part is that I failed Wildlife Management...which was one of the subjects I was most interested in and I felt very confident in that subject.

It's too late to complain though.

So I get a 'certificate of Higher Education' which is the successful passage through my first and second years...but it's not a degree and I will not be getting letters at the end of my name.

Sad isn't it?

I had to text Jae because I was depressed and he makes me feel better haha, but I forgot it would be really early for him, good job he was still awake :D

Actually, I wasn't upset about it at all really...just slightly confused.

But then I spoke to my grandma and she sounded upset...not angry, but I could tell she was disappointed.

I cried after I hung up,

then my mum told me not to have a -

'pity party'

This is why I hate crying in front of people.

Sarah came up to my and gave me a hug and some chocolate and said,

'You smell like KFC.'

I thanked her and ate the chocolate.

I wondered how long it would take for mum to throw my failure back into my face...I thought probably maybe she would leave it a month and then use it against me for the rest of my life.

But she made a record today and used it against me in a matter of three hours.

Joy.

Then she said something along the lines of,

'If your bedroom is an example of what the inside of your head is like, then God help you.'

To be honest the whole house has had a bad atmosphere and my parents are pretending they don't care, but its all lies because my dad hasn't spoken to me or looked at my face since I told him.

So I felt not to bad about it at first, but now It feels considerably worse.

I want to bury myself in a deep pit and never return.

However, there is one HUGE consolation, which is -

I will never have to set foot inside my uni ever again as long as I live.

And another,

I have completed 3 years of university and even though I failed the final one I still completed it...so at least I'm not a drop out.

and also,

My final project/dissertaton

was a PASS.

So now I'm going to forget about it and move on with my life.

I will live and learn.

If uni has taught me anything it is 'how to be a bad student'

My straight A record in high school has been utterly and thoroughly shot to pieces.

----------------

In other news Zaty Eonnie made a suggestion today which I like very much.

'Lets go to Big Show 2012 all together.'

It just might work if we plan it right. It gives us loads of time to save up and everything.

And by then we will be older and more mature *cough*

And and also!!!

I WILL HAVE A PASSPORT SOON!!!

LOL, I'm going to be so eruigaebhrwhoirlkqn when it comes.

Though I would like to use it before 2012 too.

AND I have to use it when YJ eonnie gets married!!! hahaa Thats one wedding I would hate to miss!!!

I think I will appreciate this passport more because it took me so long to get.

and I really have no idea why I am blogging about passports....again....I'm sorry if I'm being boring.

Ah well, it's 12:38am and I'm tired...the future is looking very vast and open in front of me...but not scary...it's kind of a relief actually, seeing it there with no barriers.

Good Night,

Love from Min

P.S. I don't need sympathy my darlings just lots of *hugs* and I don't mind if they are cyber *hugs* or not :D

HWAITING!!!!!

Love Forever True

Oh well I was supposed to be going to sleep but then Sarah was all like,

'Ohhh but I have to write an essay and do homework.'

And I can't sleep unless the light is off...well I can, but it annoys me...it feels like your sleep is not complete if its not done in the dark haha.

I am sleepy though...and I deserve it.

First of all I got up and had a bath because I was completely stinkin'.

Then I took Samuel for his walkie.

He gets so egotistical when I let him off the lead.

It's like,

'Ooo now I'm off the lead I can go in the long grass and disappear and then you will worry about me and call me for ages and then I will feel sorry for you and appear in the exact opposite direction of where you are looking.'

But I love him, he ish the apple of my eye...my baby.

Anyhoo,

I came home and remembered that mum had asked me to clear the study.

The task that no one in the entire house wants to attempt...

Thanks mum.

So I start clearing the crap that we've piled on one of the book cases and I dusted it and It actually looked 1000000 times better.

But then I realized I hadn't really cleared...I had just picked up one bit of mess and then relocated it to another part of the room.

It was all very depressing.

So I thought,

'WHAT THE HELL!'

And decided to make myself some lunch. I made lasagne and curly fries. Yummy...allthough I must say the lasagne was a tad heavy with the white sauce, but meh, I ate it anyway.

MMM you know what? Right now I could kill for some tom yum soup!! I just really crave it...psht! Why is Thailand so far away at time like this?

So I sat down and ate my lunch while watching a Jdorama called 'Anego'...

It's my favourite J drama scenario with the main girl contender being fabulously older than the guy, who in this case is played by Akanishi Jin (a person Sarah and I love to hate...it seems wrong that someone so full of himself should be SO beautiful.)

Anyway the end of the episode I was watching was just so exciting,

The girl/woman calls him out and says she wants to meet him, and you think,

'awww she must be going to confess to him because she misses him.'

Their relationship is very backwards you see...they slept with each other first, then they were colleagues, then he lived with her. Then she kicked him out..but they are yet to actually be in a relationship. They are kind of weird to be honest. They do all that shizz, but they don't even think about it...like it didn't happen..but Im getting off track here...

anyway, suddenly she asks him,

'Marry me.'

and I was just SHOCKED!!! I never expected this...and NEITHER did he!!!

then he goes,

'I need some time to think about it'

We need to bare in mind at this point that he is only 21 years of age, while she is 33.

so she's like,

'For how long.'

and he replies awkwardly,

'5 years.'

I admit I did laugh at his reply.

So she's stood there feeling like an idiot and she says something along the lines of,

'ok.'

and then walks home as if nothing had happened.

but, then the next part I felt bad about laughing, because as soon as she get's to her apartment she lies on the floor and cries.

And she says,

'5 year? How old will I be in 5 years?!'

and thats how the episode ends...

I was desperately itching to put the next epi on, but I had to leave early to go to my passport interview.

I wanted to get to town early so I could find where I was supposed to go.

The only problem was that I found the place straight away and I had to wait around town for an hour. Good job I brought a book wasn't it?

I found a bench and sat there reading for 45 minutes.

This group of guys walked past and started whistling at me, but I just ignored them and didn't look up and then they must have got peeved and they started banging a bin that was near me, but I still didn't look haha.

I hope their ego's got crushed.

Then finally it was time for my interview and guess what???

It was SO easy, it was over within 10 minutes. It wasn't stressful at all either.

My passport will be sent soooon!!!! :D SOOO HAPPY!!!!

Looks like I'll be stalking the postman again haha.

When I got home I spent the next 4 hours cleaning the study and bathroom. I'm happy to say they are now a lot less messy than this morning, but I am soooo tired.

I've been such a housewife today, it's ridiculous.

Tomorrow evening I have to go and get my results :(

Not looking forward to that at all...I will probably cry tomorrow evening actually.

I shall keep telling myself that life goes on...you know, it's good that it goes on...otherwise we would always be stuck at the same place.

Aigoo, I'm so tired now, its 12:30am

Good Night dear ones, have a lovely day.

Love from Minnie

P.S. I was watching clips from the movie High Society and remembered how much I loved it.

Grace Kelly is easily in the top 10 list of beautiful women ever to have set foot on earth. She married a prince too!!! *sigh*

She had a kind of fairytale life, but ended up dying in a car accident :(

I think she is still radiant even now.

The sweetest lyrics from High Society :)

True Love

And I give to you and you give to me

true love, true love.

And on and on it will always be -

true love, true love.

For you and I have a guardian Angel,

On high with nothing to do,

but to give to you and to give to me,

Love forever true.

Walkies

:D

I'm waiting for the postman -.-

... OH HE IS HERE!!!!

BRB

Heartbeat, why do you miss when my baby kisses me ~

I had planned a whole other subject for this post and I wrote part of it and took pictures and everything, but I don't really feel like posting that one, so It can wait in the drafts for a later date.

Actually this evening has been kind of horrible (understatement). I don't want to go into details, but I would have very much liked someone to just come and drive me away to somewhere nice so I'd be able to clear my head.

Why don't tall dark and handsome people who sweep you off your feet really exist??

It's not much to ask for is it?!!

I don't know how I feel at the moment...lets just call it me being insecure.

I'm not really looking forward to the next few days either.

I have my passport interview tomorrow, which sucks...though the interview doesn't bother me, it's finding the passport office...I think I will have to go to town a few hours early, just to make sure I find the place.

Then on Friday I get my results, which is not lovely at all...its DREADFUL.

I think my long run of blissful happiness may be over.

Why does reality bite so much? Silly reality!!!!

Never mind, in two weeks I will FINALLY have a passport!!

And I intend to abuse that passport, I want it to be stamped to death :)

Wouldn't it be cool to visit every country in the world?...although, I don't really fancy going to some places in the Middle East or like Siberia or somewhere, but it would be cool to be able to say you had been to every country.

Thank God for cheap flights and the supremacy of the pound...it makes things a whole lot easier (cheaper) for me when it comes to international travel.

The hardest thing is choosing where to go...the world is my Oyster so to speak.

I refuse to go to America first though...I've always said my first overseas country would never be America and I intend to keep to my word, no matter how much mum and dad say otherwise hahaha.

Speaking of international things...Germany got kicked out of the World Cup and the final is on Sunday.

Spain V The Netherlands

To be honest, I couldn't care less about either teams...but I think now it comes down to family loyalty and I will root for Holland.

Spain irritates me....or rather, the people I know who support Spain irritate me hahaha.

Though I like the Spanish language, it's pretty.

Sarah and I watched New Moon today...we fast forwarded to all the Jacob scenes and watched them...its not that we dislike the rest of the movie, its just the other parts don't consist of our main interest...its extremely shallow and everything...but the guy is hot.

I literally don't understand why people can prefer Edward...he is like, played by an English dude....EW.

I prefer someone a little more exotic.

I was just about to change my facebook DP but I can't bring myself to take away my cow...Its ear is so freaking cute!!! And the poor thing only has two legs and no tail at all so I think removing it as my DP would give it low self esteem and make it feel unloved.

And I love my cow I really do!!!

I cant believe its 12:30 am, I wish it was earlier...tomorrow is gonna be hectic.

I'm just being lazy though...I should rise to the occasion like a princess.

Princess Minnie royally pwning the day she is not looking forward to at all.

Ohhhh I'm just too sleepy to care now.

Good Night Sweet Ones

Love From Minnie

P.S. I feel a bit better now...writing a blog is like getting a big hug.

Well not really, but you know...it will have to do

Night.