I like...

I swear my procrastination skills are entering into a new dimension.

I'm getting to be a total pro at procrastinating - to a point that scares me.

But yeah, life goes on...

I've come to realize that there are only very few beautiful moments in life

the rest are dull or horrible, but I suppose at the end of your life - everything seems

beautiful even the horrible moments, because it means you felt something.

That's the thing about caring, things are so much more significant when you make them precious to you.

I want to have a lot of precious things...I want to view everything as precious in its own little or big way.

Maybe I should stop thinking about how depressing and rubbish my life seems and start loving the little things again.

Like laughing at sarah because she knows the exact minute Chansung of 2pm appears on all her 2pm downloads and skips to that minute everytime.

Or how my mum laughs at the most random things when we watch a movie

or how When I see a dog on TV I instantly run to wherever my dog is lying just in the house, so I can cuddle him.

and laugh at mine and Zaty and Rina eonnies current addiction with Park Bommie (dont ask why).

And be thankful that whatever I do and however I feel and whatever happens is what makes

my life mine - and makes me me.

And I probably wont feel like this tomorrow when I have tons of work to do which I don't feel like doing, but at least it will be somewhere in my heart.

*sigh*

Also Big Bangs song for lollipop 2 is LOVE!!! <3

I want to travel!!

I like Cornwall and I like sealions

I like it when my dog comes to sleep on the end of my bed in the middle of the night

I like webcamming <3

I like buying my sister stuff

I like getting letters

I like reminiscing about my childhood with friends, because even though we've changed we know we were lucky to have such a great time.

I like dvds

I like recieving parcels

I like typos

I like getting a good grade for something I wrote last minute

I like it when people trust me

I like it when all my family go out for a meal (even though we argue most of the time and order too much)

I like Christmas time

I like Snow Days

I like CF's

I like Korean boys

I like African wildlife

I like rice

I like spicy food

I like Asians : D

I like finishing assignments early

I like winning an argument

I like real hugs (by real I mean sincere, so even if its just a cyber hug *hugs* but its sincere, I like it ^^.

I like good hair days

I like baby animals

I like white T - shirts ^ ^

I like clean teeth :D

I like summer

I like the seaside

I like KPOP

I like warm coats and hats and scarves and gloves in winter

I like feeling like I'm important to the people who are important to me

I like seeing people who were meant for each other get together

.....................................

I like a lot more than I dislike - actually I LOVE all of the above

but I LOVE you more <3

to be continued...for the rest of my life

Puppet - when will I become a real girl?

Whichever way I try to look at it my life sucks at the moment.

I hate my university - my classmates are to, put it gently - horrendous (apart from a couple of good people).

My parents say I'm too naive, because I have 'internet friends'....they don't care about me as much as I care about them apparently...maybe so, but lets give the benefit of the doubt here shall we? After all, we are all humans we share the planet.... but no, I'm young and obviously not full-human yet, so I can't do stuff - any stuff.

I'm basically not allowed to do what I like, because it will turn out bad for me - but I can do what I want because its my life - apparently (please someone tell me what makes sense there because I'm so confused...in my years of learning that last statement would be called a contradiction).

I'm lost for words, I want to curl up in a ball, I want to cry and I just don't know what to do...because everything I like is wrong and I should just let others choose how my life will go.

...happiness...

Rambling because I do it Good

This week has been mental. Its only day two and I have been through every kind of emotion you can think of...I've not cried yet though...I doubt that fact will be the same by the weekend though.

Ive decided riding on the bus alone is no fun. I have to spend 12 hours each week on a bus so its obvious I have to fine things to entertain myself during that time.

1. Music - If mp3 players werent invented and then put into phones I would have died many years ago. If I couldn't listen to music on the bus I just dont know what I'd do...cry possibly. Today I played hot issue intro TWICE because its just the insanest intro ever ' GDRAG - ON - ITS DANGEROUS' - so yeah music is essential.

2. Drawing pad - I will not necesarily draw in it, I just need to know its there. Allthough yesterday I did continue drawing a picture of bae I'm creating for my valentine on BBVIP. She likes bae and I couldn't think of anything else to do for her. hopefully i'll finish it before the 14th, HWAITING!!!!!

3. Pencils - For drawing purposes

4. Some sort of diary

5. A magazine - wildlife magazine usually...blue sharks are <3 So are manta rays and pole cats...I envy wildlife photographers, I really do.

.....

and I have to stop typing now cos my mum is being irrational...or maybe Im just being irritable

Either way Im ticked off

Good Day/ Night

Round and Round

My work is insane!!!! Its like really complex and I have to condense it down into 600 words...then I have to make it look pretty!!!! To add on top of that...I'm so tired of uni work...I've been doing it for three years and I'm pretty much fed up with it.

WHERE HAS MY DRIVE GONE???

Of course, I also get distracted by a certain brown eyed boy whose existance completely amazes me... >_<

Recently I started doing this thingy where I write down one sentence every night about how I feel or where I'm at or whatever. It's quite fun to do then I put a date on it. Its great for when I dont feel like writing in my diary, but want to make note that I have actually lived that day...for future reference of course!!!

I got told off (nicely) by my course tutor today for my poor attendance. I wanted to tell him to try waking up at 6am when you are warm and snuggled in bed on a cold winters morning...but that would be completely childish of me considering he probably knows exactly how that feels ROFL...I don't want to look like a complete bumtrinket now do I?

I love Please Don't Go by CL and Minji if 2NE1....it completely ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was listening to it on the bus today and I wanted to dance but I was kind of scared of the old man behind me who was talking to himself....weird.

I wrote a poem on the bus too...It doesn't have a name yet, but here it is:

'Carefully...' I think
I look at my destination
My future
My hope
The choices before me
Which should I choose?
Which one will lead me to you?
What is this tightness in my chest in my chest?
Is it because there might be a chance
that my life isn't leading to you?

I can stand some losses
but not that...

My heart breaks at the mere thought

Without you I can live,
but only with you can I be truly alive...

I wrote it on the bus... what can I say? Bus rides make me think...I think about now and then and everything...and if my thoughts get too loud I stick my headphones on and blast them out with K-POP.....

REFRESH ME

So thats about it for today...

Its Raining, Im Inside, but I Feel It

I've been in a predicament with myself. You see, people have different sides to them and I am no exception. When I wake up I am filled with aspirations of what I could accomplish only for them to be drowned out by my lack of interest in my surroundings....or rather the little world I have created for myself.

If there was a project in which the students had to create a world for themselves mine would be a fail. Maybe thats why the wise people stop trying to do things all by themselves and let God create worlds...even miniature ones.

Its been my habit for a long time to write a diary every year. Recently I read through them and you know what was always the same about each one. In the first entry of them all I always write that Im wondering whether anything will have changed in my life by the time the diary is full...you know what? I dont feel like aything has changed...I mean, stuff has...but I didn't feel it.

The diaries from my teenage years are full of questions...most of those questions are to do with boys and when would I get one? I smiled a lot reading them. I only ever met one person who came up to scratch back then...It was a nice if not fleeting moment...Now I dont even bother about boys in any other way than that of friendship...friendship tends to last longer than romance in my life...to my future heart stealer, if you exist...I respect you...It must have been hard.

As I carried on reading my memories to my later teens all I seemed to be thinking about was studies and finishing and A+ results...for these accounts I know that I am an able person - if I really really desire to have something from the bottom of my heart I can get it. I feel proud of myself, not because of the good grades, but because I didn't let myself down...and its a good feeling.

The past three years Ive complained...A LOT. This is because I am making excuses for myself, because I havn't been doing what I should. I want everything, but make no movment to grasp at it. I keep telling myself that dreams come to you when in fact, its the opposite...we have to work to make our dreams reality....

To this day Im a little lost...somewhere in between two unknown places. I have desires and dreams this year, just as I did in all those years that have past. I tell myself that I wont wonder about where I'll be in the future, but its still there - lingering in my mind.

I wonder...

Im looking at myself in a new light recently. Asking myself what do I truly want. Its actually quite a hard question to answer. I have this life that I was given...how do I steer it? What was I supposed to do with it? I'm always asking myself these questions.

Sometimes they hammer into my head all the time and drive me crazy. Then I go to my beloved outlet at BBVIP and live my moments there carefree. I'm lucky to have found such a wonderful place. The thought of not ever meeting the people there is a terrible thing. Its horrendous for me to even think about before when they lived in this world and I had no idea...I think its all to do with destiny though. I mean there is always a purpose to meeting people. I dont believe in chance.

Unfulfilled

I'm getting used to waiting

My body is relaxing

Not settling for a loss

Just waiting for the win

I move in empty circles

I live for the necessity

Being patient for the moment

When I'll be free from the wait

I close my eyes and breathe

Everything crawls in slow motion

The days they pass so slow

And yet they speed right by

Nothing seems to proceed

Yet steady pace of life continues

and this is how it is

Nothing happens, but everything changes
Chances of new loves are missed

and yet, I continue waiting

What are new loves in comparison?

To live a day with you

Is more than 1000 with another

If someone else gave me their heart

I would be decievig them

for I'd still be waiting for yours.

So basicly that is how I feel...only extra acute,

Expectations, Dogs and of course, Jiyong - the gorgeous daddy

Its september now...and what an emotional rollercoaster August was. What with assignments, losses, gains and Heartbreaker (GD's solo album ghgfdsxcvbnjhytr) last month was pretty epic, in both a good way and a bad way.

So what does this month hold for me? What treasureful moments will it add to my very short life on earth?....well, to be honest, I havn't the foggiest. I am only hoping that among the monotony and boredom of everyday dullness there will be beautiful moments. As long as my hope stays full...and my mind occupied.

SO, anyone want to see a picture of the most delicious dot displayer in the history of the world? Not to mention a loving daddy...

I know you want to ^ ^I totally know how he feels about GaHo, because I feel the same way about Sam.

This sort of leads me to a pet peeve...actually, this is something that ticks me off A LOT.

I am VERY fond of my dog for a number of reasons.

1. My one wish growing up was for a dog

2. I love dogs in general

3. I got Sam when I was really lonely and needed a friend

What makes me mad the most is those ignorant people, who can't possibly know how it feels to have a dog....I swear I find it hard to contain my anger.

Let me explain, having a dog is like having a child...different of course, but there is a bond..and I swear to you, its a strong bond. I would lay down any amount of money and even endure pain for my dog...it may sound silly to none dog lovers, but this is a how tight the bond between dog and master is. When someone belittles this I GET SO FREAKING MAD...they laugh and say stuff like, 'Its just a dog' I have to use every ounce of self control to stop myself from saying every insulting phrase I know to their pathetic faces!!!!

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. My friend just lost her dog and some inconsiderate fool used the 'it was only a dog' phrase. That person couldn't possibly know what she was going through.

When you have used part of your life, to care, bring up, nurture and protect a living creature...do you really think, 'it was only a dog' is an appropriate phrase to use.

NO

It was a beautiful creature...and it had life in it and it loved its owners and they loved it!!!

I know I may sound rabid, but its something that I feel strongly about.

Anyway, to calm down I'll post more pictures of my beloved Jiyongie on his most recent endeavours. The smile to melt a thousan hearts....now do you understand why I love him so much?

My weakness is smiles...and he has a stunning smile...I fell for him like a ton of bricks

...words cannot describe the pure sexinesss....I'll leave it at that!!!

I will continue to support G Dragon as he promotes the best album of 2009 (tied with Youngbaes and Big Bamgs of course) JIYONG FIGHTING AND BLESS YOU FOR YOUR HARD WORK AND COURAGE

From your min

all creds for the pics to asianfantics forums ^ ^

If you love GD and Big Band head over to bbvip.net....I swear its the best forum in the world...come and join the family!!!!!