Update

Dear whoever reads this-

I have a new blog now and will be posting there from now on.

If you like to read my writing please take a look

http://minnienubcak.blogspot.co.uk/

Love ya chickens!

Renewed Mind

Today interesting points were made

I was feeling foul. In fact, i've been feeling foul for about three weeks. No idea what is wrong with me. Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I'm bored. I should probably figure it out before it eats me up and I turn into a bitter and cynical monster who cannot enjoy life at all.

It so happened that today I became enlightened. A little.

Me and my housemate decided to go visit a place a few miles from where we reside called the Cotswold water park. We had a nice walk and even though it was a cloudy day it was still warm. It smelt and felt good.

We walked by this river. I have never seen such clear water. Just walking by it I felt its beautiful clarity rush over my mind. Everything was outlined. Just like when you put on new glasses. I can't describe how refreshing it was.

I know I've been the human form of a nightmare these past few weeks. I can sense that my housemates are concerned about my restlessness. It's good to have some peace of mind back in order.

My point being, if you ever feel the need for clarity and composure - go for a nice walk. I feel like my thoughts have stabilised immensely.

Holding onto a positive attitude is not one of my strong suits. God help me, I will try and latch onto this one.

Speaking of God. One of my housemates made an interesting statement today while we were all chatting over a cup of hot stuff.
We were discussing people who believe in God and then suddenly don't and his opinion of it was this.

A converted atheist will always admit that they were deceived in the past, but what they won't admit is that they were actually lying to themselves. You see if a person truly believes in God then he has felt and witnessed and knows for sure that God exists. When you know someone exists how can you then deny them? Which brings us to the conclusion that the person in question never knew God at all, even when they said they did - therefore, they were always lying to themselves and to everyone else as well.

It's like knowing someone as a friend and then denying their existence...odd.

I thought it was an interesting point anyway. I'm not a expert on human psychology, but it's a nice juicy bit of info to really have a good think about.

So. Please God (who I do believe in) help me to preserve this positive attitude and better myself instead of just complaining and making myself into a fool.

Ends and Beginnings, oh, and Shelves.

I tidied my room today.

Someone needs use of  the bottom bunk for a few weeks so I thought I'd make the effort and give the gift of cleanliness to them.

I also sorted my shelves, they look awesome now.

Top shelf - Books and DVDs

Middle Shelf - Souveniers and memorabilia

Bottom Shelf - Diaries and essential daily usage things.

I am so happy with it all I could just burst.

Today is my final 24 hours of being a 23 year old. This birthday thing is getting rather used now I'm afraid to say. 24 is really in the20s isn't it??? It's almost midway through them.

There are so many things I haven't done yet. Like learn to drive for example.

I'm not complaining though, I look forward to the things I haven't done yet.

The best thing about my 23rd year was that I was actually able to really think freely on my own and make decisions. Really get to know myself and what I want from life. No, I don't have all the answers, but I was able to do things I wouldn't have done before.

I moved out of my family home for one. I wouldn't say I've left there for good, in fact, I'd say it was more my home than where I live now, but...there is a certain lovely feeling you get when you are free from parental dictatorship. I say that in the most respectful way. I believe wholeheartedly that my parents brought me up so that I could come to a place where I was able to live without them. I also believe they did a pretty good job.

However, to be able to be fully myself and not a little clone of them. I had to get out of the nest and really test my abilities and grow my own ideals and feed my own curiosity.

I'm doing that now and I have to say, it is liberating.

I guess that is why I have been able to do so many things. If I'd been at home, I would never have gone to Korea and met my friends and seen bigbang. What a loss that would have been!

I can't even imagine how horrid D:

So yes, I'm stretching my wings, testing my boundaries and hopefully becoming a better me as time goes along.

In any case, I am looking forward to this, my 24th year, with curiosity and excitement and I hope my future self will really go for it and take every opportunity and run with it.

I will see more of the world and experience more things and thrive on change. I want to learn everything I can and try new flavours and see more cultures and share it all with interesting people. It would also be quite nice if there was a bit of wild out of control romance thrown in there too, just a suggestion :D

SO...allthough 24 is almost mid 20s, I feel like it is part of the beginning of a new era for me.

Care to join?

Min

Inspiration

Last night I went to a poetry recital.

I am a fan of poetry in general, but it was interesting to watch people read out something they had written themselves. I was actually shocked at the high standard - usually when I go to things like this it's just to support amateurs. These people were like screen writers and opera writers, people who make a living out of using words to recreate moments in life.

It was pretty stunning. I freaking love the arts.

I live with someone who is a professional singer and she was also performing there during the interval. I'd never heard her sing with an audience before. We were joking earlier because I told her as much and she said,

'Yeah you've only seen me walking around the house singing in my pyjamas.'

Which is true.

She has a stunning voice. Glad I was able to hear it in that environment.

I live with super talented people, yet they are so down to earth about it, not shoving it into everyone's faces- so I will. In my house there is a singer, a musician, a dramatist, a film maker, plus a few others. As far as artistic inspiration goes I am probably sitting in the ideal spot. Creativity abounds. I really hope I learn to soak some of it up.

I love people who inspire me. That's all.

I just hope that one day, I'll be able to inspire them back.

Supressed

Why do chips taste so good?

Not that I fancy any at the moment. Just having a little wonder.

I'm getting really irritated for a silly reason. I made my bed on my grandmas sofa and suddenly everyone in the house have decided that they want to sit on the sofa, therefore leaving me with about two inches of space.

I don't know why I'm being so irritable. It's just people can be so grrrrrrrrrr!

Why do people ask you questions when they can obviously see you've just put food in your mouth?

Why do they speak just to hear the sound of their own voices?

And why the hell do they presume to know how your mind works more than you do?

I actually think the answer to my questions is, Minnie, you are over tired the cold you have is causing your ears to be blocked with snotty fluid.

Usually I can keep my cynical thoughts and sarcasm within me, but when you have fluid in your ears it is so hard to be positive.

It's 11:11.

Gosh I need to sleep...I also need leg space. Or just space in general.

Dreams take me somewhere open and free.

Abnormal, the New Normal

So many things are happening all at once.

The laziness within me is like...

'Dude, chill your life.'

I know, that is just a load of tosh.

Actually, life is just being normal. Full. It just makes me want more of it.

This in turn, makes my life SO irritating.

Monotony, that curse. I have to drag through the days waiting for the times I have planned for excitement, or at least some amazing surprise. Yet the great race just loves keeping it simple just when I want everything to explode.

This leaves me in a great predicament. Should I throw in the towel of monotony and give up making a living so I can then ACTUALLY  live a living?

The truth is, I need money dammit. The things I like are expensive. The things I want to do have an expense. So you see, monotony is what I pay for being able to live a life that I enjoy.

(Not that I am endorsing the love of 'Things' - I just can't be bothered thinking up words that describe life stuff at the moment.)

If I could just find a way to make the boring stuff worthwhile, in my own mind, so then everything would be wonderful and interesting.

But then...if everything is interesting, does everything then become not very interesting at all????

I DON'T EVEN KNOW!

I just super confused my own brain with this entire post. Do I even want to continue to publicize my ability to completely and utterly befuddle myself?

I need someone to fool around with.

I'm going now, to write deep and meaningful poetry about how I really feel.

Minneh

The Korean Dream

Here I am, sat in my room, listening to the instrumental of 'Blue' by bigbang.

I have a very nice view from my bedroom window. The combination of pretty view and chill tunes really relaxes my socks off (not literally).

You may (or may not) know, but two weeks ago I finally fulfilled my long term dream of visiting South Korea. It was everything that I imagined and more. Not only was I in the country, but I was with dear friends who I'd been waiting to hug for so long AND to just make it perfection - I saw Bigbang at Big Show 2012 - twice.

If you have been following me since I've had this blog. You will understand the hugeness of the whole experience.

I should probably post a few piccies so you can see.Unfortunately I can't post them all because there are like seven million.

 Bi Bim Bap on the plane - the first flavours of Korea

 The first signs of land, soon I will be there!

 Me and Zaty eonnie after I landed - TIRED and Vereh happeh!

 Me and my Boyfriend

 BIG SHOW 2012! Here we come!

The three of us together <3 - wish we'd got a better pic than this, next time!

Only six. It takes forever for pictures to upload on blogger doesn't it? I just don't have the patience haha.

I wore my I <3 Korea t shirt for the first time today. Allthough the design is not as pretty as the one I bought for Sarah, it still looks nice on me haha. I guess it's because I'm a t shirt type girl. Always have, always will be. I will be an embarrassment to my kids, but PFFT what do they know anyway?!

Anyway, I'm all blogged out for now. All I can say is. I had an amazing fabulous time. I'm completely in love with South Korea, Bigbang and my friends. Lets make more plans! I have so many more friends I have to hug to death! Believe me - It has only just begun.

Minnnnnn